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Band 6

Maths plays a vital role in a business' success. Agree/disagree?

#maths #role #business #success
In today’s competitive economy, many believe that one needs to be knowledgeable in
maths
 in order to excel in
business
.
While
 I believe that
maths
 is indeed an important element to any worker’s skill set, I argue that it is not vital to the success of an individual;
this
 is because whether
maths
 is important is dependent both on the
business
 and the position the employee or employer holds. It is apparent that mathematical ability has increasingly been sought out by employers as a sign that the employee will succeed within a
business
.
This
 proficiency in
maths
 not only allows individuals to analyse large quantities of data, it
also
 demonstrates the ability to think critically.
Therefore
, those who are talented at
maths
 can not only help businesses predict future trends and stay one step ahead of their opponents,
they
Correct word choice
but they
show examples
 might be able to assist in logistics or administrative tasks as well.
This
 is why
for example
why
Rephrase
apply
show examples
top financial institutions and technology companies,
such
 as Goldman Sachs and Tesla, often pay premiums in order to recruit the top mathematicians from prestigious universities.
However
, it could
also
 be argued that the most successful businessmen might not need to be
well versed
Add a hyphen
well-versed
show examples
 in mathematics, since they can simply employ employees who are. Many managers and CEOs simply do not have time to do every single calculation that involves their
business
, and
instead
Add a comma
instead,
show examples
 focus their time on managing relationships and communicating with people. It could be said that their function is
thus
 not to manage the
business
, but to manage people - their role is to find and bring out the best in people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 can perform jobs better than them through specialization. In conclusion, I argue that
while
 mathematics is certainly an important component of any
business
, and a useful skill set for any employee, one does not necessarily need to be proficient in mathematics in order to
nonetheless
 succeed.
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Language Range and Accuracy
To enhance your score further, you could work on adding a bit more variety to your sentence structures and include more sophisticated vocabulary that directly relates to the topic.
Essay Structure
Making explicit connections between paragraphs with transitional phrases could strengthen the cohesion of your essay.
Content
The essay provides a balanced view, discussing both the importance and limitations of mathematical skills in business success.
Introduction and Conclusion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay's argument, adhering to the format expected for IELTS.
Relevance and Support
Examples of specific companies and scenarios where mathematical skills are valuable enhance the argument's credibility.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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