IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram illustrates the number of shops in the situation of close and open in one country from 2011 to 2018.

The diagram illustrates the number of shops in the situation of close and open in one country from 2011 to 2018.
The given line graph provides data on the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
stores
Use synonyms
 in the situation of
close
Replace the word
closed
show examples
 and
open
Wrong verb form
opened
show examples
 in
single
Correct article usage
a single
show examples
 nation between 2011 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
,
It is clear that
Linking Words
 both lines
fluctured
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
throught
Correct your spelling
through
throughout
 the period in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
question. Looking at the graph in more detail, the number of opening shops started a peak at around 8500
stores
Use synonyms
 and
afterthen
Correct your spelling
after then
after the
its
Change the pronoun
it
show examples
 decreased sharply to roughly 4000 in 2012.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 the figure for opening places experienced a
graual
Correct your spelling
gradual
 increase to approximately 6000 places from 2012 to 2014. Even though opening
stores
Use synonyms
 went up slightly in 2017, the figure for opening shops had a
down trend
Correct your spelling
downtrend
show examples
 between 2014 and 2018. As far as
closures
Use synonyms
stores
Use synonyms
 are concerned, it showed a sharp
flucturtion
Correct your spelling
fluctuation
fluctuations
throught
Correct your spelling
through
throughout
 the given period. The figure for
closures
Use synonyms
 shops reached a peak
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 roughly 7000
stores
Use synonyms
 in 2013.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the number of
closures
Use synonyms
stores
Use synonyms
 fell suddenly by just under 1000
stores
Use synonyms
 in 2015.
Afterthen
Correct your spelling
After then
, the amount of
closures
Use synonyms
 places skyrocketed to around 5000
stores
Use synonyms
 between 2015 and 2016.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words stores, closures with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • diagram
  • illustrates
  • number of shops
  • situation
  • close
  • open
  • country
  • 2011
  • 2018
  • overview
  • year-wise
  • comparison
  • trend analysis
  • increase
  • decrease
  • reasons
  • future prediction
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