Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Since ancient times
people
tried to treat themselves with herbals and
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
natural
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
. These days
this
type of
treatment
is called
alternative
medicine
. Nowadays, more and more
people
with some diseases decide to use
alternative
medicines
instead
of classic
medicine
. In
this
essay, I will try to discuss the pros and cons. In my opinion, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages of using traditional
medicine
. The first reason is that nobody knows how
this
treatment
will affect a person's health. There are a lot of cases when using different herbals caused allergic reactions and some
people
died. The next reason is that
people
who do not have any medical education try
alternative
medicines. They do not know what the result will be and hope that it will be positive but not always is like that.
Although
there are a lot of disadvantages, the advantages might make
people
not go to the usual doctor. The first and the main pro is that using herbals does not cause environmental problems
such
as air pollution or gas waste. Many pharmaceutical plants use chemicals which have harmful effects on the environment. The other reason is that
alternative
medicines are usually much cheaper than usual treatments as you do not have to go to the pharmacy and buy expensive drugs. To sum it up, the
alternative
treatment
will be forever because it has some advantages which many
people
think
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
can outweigh the disadvantages but I do not think so. Conventional
medicine
which develops rockets will drive out other types of
treatment
in the future.
Submitted by minhlieu.hnd on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task un
Try to provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to succinctly present your opinion on the topic. Use precise language to ensure clarity.
task un
Ensure main points are well-supported with specific examples and explanations. Some claims were made without sufficient evidence, particularly in the discussion of the advantages of alternative medicine.
coherence cohesion un
Improve logical flow between paragraphs and ideas by using appropriate transition words and phrases more consistently. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion un
Develop each argument in a more detailed manner, giving a balanced view with more comprehensive reasoning.
coherence cohesion hi
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is essential for effective essay writing.
task hi
The writer presents both sides of the argument effectively, showing an understanding of different perspectives, which strengthens the overall discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: