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Writing Samples
Band 6

Young people who commit serous crimes, such as a robbery or a biolent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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It is sometimes argued that young
people
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 are supposed to suffer the same punishments as adults when break the law seriously. In my opinion,
while
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children
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 should take responsibility for their
behaviours
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, they
are
Verb problem
do
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 not ought to be punished severely. There are several reasons why it is necessary for
children
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 to pay for their actions. First of all, it can make
people
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's communities more safety.
This
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 is because individuals, especially young
people
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, are inclined to commit crimes without any punishment.
For example
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,
children
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 are highly
to
Correct word choice
likely to
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rob
Verb problem
buy
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 goods from supermarkets
instead
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 of buying them. If there are no regulations to constrain those bad
behaviours
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, there will be more thieves in the community.
As a result
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,
people
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 have to live in more dangerous surroundings. Apart from that, it helps
children
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 to establish the correct outlook on life. The reason for
that is
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 after taking responsibility for their actions, they can know that they did something wrong and have bad influences on society. So that, in the future, they can distinguish what
behaviours
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 are harmful to
people
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's lives and not encouraged.
Therefore
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, they may develop a better person.
By contrast
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, I still hold the view that they do not have to be treated in
such
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 a serious way. First and foremost, it is unequal to punish
children
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 as adults. Sometimes
children
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 may break the laws without realizing it
,
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apply
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 because they are too young to know all of the regulations.
This
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 means that
,
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apply
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 they are highly likely to commit crimes unintentionally. Based on that,
people
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 should not punish them as adults who clearly know the compensation.
Furthermore
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, some punishments which include body injuries are too heavy for young
people
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 to suffer, by experiencing them
children
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 are easy to have mental problems .
For example
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, some serious punishments need to torture
people
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,
under
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in
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 that situation, young
people
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 may cause them to have mental diseases, which may destroy their whole life at an early age.
To sum up
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,
although
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children
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 should compensate for their
behaviours
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 to keep society safer and have the right life direction, I think they are not supposed to be punished as older
people
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due to
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 their unconscious and mental health.

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