Your local hospital has advertised for people to do unpaid work helping at the hospitsal. You would like to do some work at the hospital in your free time. Write a letter to the hospital. In your letter -explain why you would like to do unpaid work at the hospital -say what type of unpaid work you would be able to do -give details of when you would be available for this work

#people #work #time #-explain #-say #type #-give

Dear Sir or Madam, Greetings, I hope

this

letter finds you in good health, I am writing to you concerning your advertisement in the local newspaper for individuals to do unpaid

work

, and I would like to express my interest in applying for

this

work

. First of all, I would like you to be informed that I have worked as a volunteer in the local charity organization called WES for medical services,

additionally

, I have been working in the Green Clinic for 18 months as a nurse. I would like to join your staff as a nurse as I have remarkable experience in

this

field,

therefore

I can apply my education and provide support,

moreover

, I can recommend some of my former colleagues to join us.

Finally

, I am free from 8 o'clock to 12 o'clock

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

night, and I would like to make my shift during these hours. If you do not have

Remove the article

work

a job

show examples

work

for me

Change preposition

show examples

this

time I mentioned, I do not mind to

work

at the morning shift. I am looking forward to your kind reply. Best Regards. Omar San.

Submitted by abdoo.magicoo on Fri May 17 2024

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task achievement

Your letter is generally well-structured but adding a bit more detail about why you want to help and specifics about what you can do would make it even better. For example, mentioning a personal motivation for wanting to help at this particular hospital can make your letter more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Using more varied transition words can improve the logical flow of your letter. Right now, the ideas are clear but they can be better connected. For example, use transitions like 'Additionally,' 'Furthermore,' etc., to link sentences and paragraphs more smoothly.

task achievement

Your tone is very polite and suitable for a formal letter, which enhances the professionalism of your application.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph focuses on a single idea, contributing to a clear structure and making it easy for the reader to follow.

coherence cohesion

You have included both a greeting and a closing, which makes your letter well-rounded and complete.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

9 paragraphs

186 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

volunteer
unpaid work
free time
dedication
healthcare
assist
patients
administrative tasks
commitment
flexibility
personal satisfaction
inspired
community service
contribute

What to do next:

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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