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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people prefer to stay in the same type of work all their lives, while others prefer to change the type of work they do. Discuss both these preferences and give your own opinion.

#people #type #work #lives #change #preferences
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Many
people
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 want to stay in the same
type
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 of
work
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 all their lives,
while
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 others want to change their
professions
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. I personally believe that
while
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 staying in the same
type
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 of
work
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 provides comfort, changing the
type
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 of
work
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 provides someone with professional
development
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. Those
people
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 who love to stay in the same
type
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 of
work
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 can stay in their comfort zone. They become experts doing the same kind of
work
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 every day, and they become confident about their performance at their
workplace
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. They do not have to worry about their performance at their
workplace
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.
For example
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, in Bangladesh, many
people
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at
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in
show examples
 their 40s and 50s stay in teaching
professions
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 at secondary schools for many years and they are not interested in changing their
professions
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. They do not have to worry about their performance because they are quite confident about it.
However
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, I personally believe that
work
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 should provide some challenges which
initiates
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initiate
show examples
 professional
development
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. If someone changes their
workplace
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 it will provide them with professional
development
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. Those who change their
workplace
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 have to deal with numerous changes
such
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 as a new environment, new responsibilities and new challenges. These changes help them to grow as a professional and explore new opportunities.
For example
Linking Words
, in Australia, especially young
people
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 have the tendency
of changing
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to change
show examples
 their
professions
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 every year and they do it because they prioritize professional
development
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 and new opportunities.
Therefore
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, I personally believe that changing
profession
Fix the agreement mistake
professions
show examples
 after a certain period of time is necessary for professional
development
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. In conclusion,
while
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 staying in the same profession offers comfort I believe that
people
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 should change their
professions
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 for professional growth.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
Consider elaborating more on the points with additional examples to better support each argument, which will enhance the depth of your task response.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve transitions between paragraphs to ensure a seamless flow of ideas and arguments throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay presents both perspectives on the topic and provides a clear opinion, fulfilling the task requirements well.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are well-structured, which frames the essay in a coherent manner.
task achievement
Use of specific examples from Bangladesh and Australia helps underline the arguments effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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