Children are now less active in their free time than in the past. Therefore, sports lessons must be compulsory in schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#children #time #sports #lessons #schools

Nowadays, children are less active in their leisure time than many decades ago.

As a result

, it is believed that many

sports

lessons

must be mandatory in education.

However

, I am not convinced by the statement for some reasons mentioned in

this

essay. On the one hand, schools must add some

sports

lessons

to their curriculum. The first reason is that if people are unfit or suffer from some health problems, the government will have to spend a lot of money on medical care in the future. Another reason is that

sports

help children learn discipline, patience and collaboration which can help them become more independent.

On the other hand

sports

lessons

should not be compulsory at school. First and foremost, when children participate in those, if they are not careful, they can suffer from serious and dangerous injuries.

Secondly

, to provide them with a good training environment, schools need to spend a lot of money on facilities and equipment

as well as

on experienced trainers.

Thirdly

, joining too many physical activities can make them lose focus on their studies.

In addition

, engaging in

sports

lessons

takes up a significant amount of valuable study time.

Last

but not least, some young people are not keen on

sports

, because they actually hate physical activity or consider it a waste of time. In conclusion, participating in

sports

can bring them many physical and mental benefits, but I think

sports

lessons

should be optional subjects so that they can feel comfortable when taking part in studying.

Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on Sat May 18 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic and provides good reasoning for both supporting and opposing views. However, it would benefit from more specific examples to illustrate your points further. Including real-life instances or data can strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Your arguments are logically structured and easy to follow. Make sure that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea, which you mostly did well. Additionally, link your arguments back to the main question of making sports lessons compulsory to maintain focus.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both sides, and a conclusion. This makes the flow of your essay easy to follow.

task achievement

You've addressed both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced perspective. Your reasoning is logical and aligns well with the points you are making.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Children are now less active in their free time than in the past. Therefore, sports lessons must be compulsory in schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

"Some people believe that technology has made life easier, while others argue that it has complicated our lives. Discuss both views and give your opinion."

Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and preparatory methods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fresh water has become a global problem for the world. What are the causes of it? What measures government and individual should take to resolve the problem ? Give reasons and examples for your answer.