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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believed that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven year old. other believe that it is important for your children to go to school as soon as possible. what do you thing are the advantages of attending school from young children.

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The debate over whether minors should stay at
home
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 or go to
school
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 is a sensitive and complex one.
While
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 some argue the importance of the stability and nurture provided to the young by staying at
home
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 is essential for their happiness and development, others highlight the need for socialising the children from a young
age
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 by sending them to
school
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 and integrating them with society. In my view, an adolescent at the
age
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 of six or seven should start
school
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 to develop much-needed social and emotional intelligence and to better set the child up for life. In
this
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 essay, I will be discussing both perspectives and provide a conclusion. First off, advocates for keeping their children
home
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 at the adolescent
age
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 of six or seven often signify the delicate and pure nature of a child at that
age
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, they argue that the care and guidance offered by a doting parent is what they truly need.
Furthermore
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, only the parents can understand the needs of their offspring better than any teacher in a
school
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. They contend that teachers do not have enough energy or resources to provide much-needed care and attention to all of their students let alone one.
On the other hand
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, proponents for sending their kids to
school
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 from a young
age
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 argue the need for a social and emotional connection needed by a toddler, they believe
this
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 is not fully achieved by keeping the kids at
home
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,
instead
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 the minors need
age
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-appropriate peers around them for play and negotiation to truly integrate and grow them into society.
Moreover
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, the young ones are missing out on learning important subjects which are vital for their critical thinking skills. Supporters for early education deem that children learn best by being around others of the same
age
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 and being educated appropriately through a curriculum In conclusion, sending young ones to
school
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 at an appropriate
age
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 is part of the natural process for them to learn and grow up as complete individuals. By keeping infants at
home
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 they are deprived of not only social but logical education which is crucial for them to be a part of society.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Examples help to illustrate your points and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically from one point to the next. This enhances readability and helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both well-structured and provide a clear framework for the essay.
task achievement
Your ideas are expressed clearly and comprehensively, making your stance easy to understand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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