IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

More and more people are opting for ready-made food instead of freshly cooked food. Do this development has more advantages over disadvantages.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The trend of individuals going for pre-made dishes over homemade food has become prevailing in recent years. Even though
this
Linking Words
 trend offers some conveniences, it carries significant drawbacks that should be carefully considered. On the one hand, the pre-packaged product provides absolute time savings for busy people and families, where both parents are required to work for long hours.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the simple cooking method of pre-prepared dishes is a windfall for them which can release more time for children,
instead
Linking Words
 of spending on meal preparation.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the accessibility and variety of ready-made stuff offer a wider range of choices for customers to meet their preferences and dietary needs.
For example
Linking Words
, consumers can easily enjoy different cuisines by shopping for those products in popular superstores like Costco and Walmart.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the nutritional value of convenience food is a major concern to public health. Compared with the natural ingredients, they often add more sodium and preservatives to extend their shelf life.
Thus
Linking Words
, governments in developed countries are aware of
this
Linking Words
 issue.
For instance
Linking Words
, research from the U.S.A. Agricultural Association illustrates that nutrients in the prepacked products can be destroyed during production which may affect our health.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the mass production of instant meals
also
Linking Words
 creates huge environmental impacts.
Besides
Linking Words
 food waste and carbon dioxide emissions, plastic is usually used for packaging which generates a burden on the ecosystem.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 ready-made meals are definitely convenient for the fast-paced world, the drawbacks to well-being and sustainability cannot be ignored.
Although
Linking Words
 individuals have different lifestyles, cooking at home with fresh stuff is a better option to maintain fitness.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay would benefit from a clearer thesis statement. While you touched on both advantages and disadvantages, explicitly stating your position (i.e., whether the disadvantages outweigh the advantages) in the introduction can add clarity.
supported main points
Some ideas can be expanded upon further. For example, providing detailed examples or studies to support the claim about the environmental impact would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
You could improve the essay's flow by using a few more transition words or phrases, such as 'However,' 'On the other hand,' and 'Additionally,' to make the connections between your ideas more explicit.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally very clear and organized. The introduction and conclusion are well-defined, and you have developed your main points in separate paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages of ready-made food, which demonstrates a comprehensive approach to the topic.
supported main points
You have included relevant examples, such as mentioning specific superstores like Costco and Walmart, which help to illustrate your points effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: