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Writing Samples
Band 8

More and more people are opting for ready-made food instead of freshly cooked food. Do this development has more advantages over disadvantages.

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Introduction
The trend of individuals going for pre-made dishes over homemade food has become prevailing in recent years. Even though
this
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 trend offers some conveniences, it carries significant drawbacks that should be carefully considered.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, the pre-packaged product provides absolute time savings for busy people and families, where both parents are required to work for long hours.
Therefore
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, the simple cooking method of pre-prepared dishes is a windfall for them which can release more time for children,
instead
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 of spending on meal preparation.
Additionally
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, the accessibility and variety of ready-made stuff offer a wider range of choices for customers to meet their preferences and dietary needs.
For example
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, consumers can easily enjoy different cuisines by shopping for those products in popular superstores like Costco and Walmart.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, the nutritional value of convenience food is a major concern to public health. Compared with the natural ingredients, they often add more sodium and preservatives to extend their shelf life.
Thus
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, governments in developed countries are aware of
this
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 issue.
For instance
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, research from the U.S.A. Agricultural Association illustrates that nutrients in the prepacked products can be destroyed during production which may affect our health.
Moreover
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, the mass production of instant meals
also
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 creates huge environmental impacts.
Besides
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 food waste and carbon dioxide emissions, plastic is usually used for packaging which generates a burden on the ecosystem.
Conclusion
To conclude
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,
while
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 ready-made meals are definitely convenient for the fast-paced world, the drawbacks to well-being and sustainability cannot be ignored.
Although
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 individuals have different lifestyles, cooking at home with fresh stuff is a better option to maintain fitness.

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task achievement
Your essay would benefit from a clearer thesis statement. While you touched on both advantages and disadvantages, explicitly stating your position (i.e., whether the disadvantages outweigh the advantages) in the introduction can add clarity.
supported main points
Some ideas can be expanded upon further. For example, providing detailed examples or studies to support the claim about the environmental impact would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
You could improve the essay's flow by using a few more transition words or phrases, such as 'However,' 'On the other hand,' and 'Additionally,' to make the connections between your ideas more explicit.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally very clear and organized. The introduction and conclusion are well-defined, and you have developed your main points in separate paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages of ready-made food, which demonstrates a comprehensive approach to the topic.
supported main points
You have included relevant examples, such as mentioning specific superstores like Costco and Walmart, which help to illustrate your points effectively.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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