IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In some countries, more houses are needed to cope with rapidly increasing populations. Some people think that it is better to build houses in existing towns and cities, while others believe that it is better to build houses and develop new towns in rural areas. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Undoubtedly, the populations of some nations are growing rapidly and more
houses
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 are needed to address the problem. Some
people
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 look upon urban
areas
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 as a better option to accommodate new buildings,
whereas
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 others consider the countryside to be more ideal. As far as I am concerned, I am strongly in
favor
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favour
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 of the former, and the reasons will be thoroughly elaborated on as follows. An array of factors may lead to why building
houses
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 in rural
areas
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 seems effective in tackling the increasing population. First of all, there are far more usable lands that can be transformed into well-planned residential
areas
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.
For example
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, to cope with the overcrowded population, many farmlands in rural
areas
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 were acquired by the Taiwanese government decades ago for building
houses
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.
Secondly
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, constructions in rural
areas
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 narrow the gap between the downtown and the countryside, thereby attracting
people
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 to live there. After all, various facilities like hospitals, schools, and mass transportation systems will be
also
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 established to meet the demands of local citizens, which means that the rural
areas
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 will gain prosperity significantly with more job opportunities created.
However
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, in my viewpoint, building new
houses
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 in towns and
cities
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 is more reasonable.
To begin
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 with,
people
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 tend to live in
cities
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due to
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 the existing convenience.
That is
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 to say,
people
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 have been accustomed to reaching any place in a short time with many alternatives and changing their lifestyle will be challenging.
Furthermore
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, building new
houses
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 in
cities
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 can save governments a great amount of money since there is no need for additional resources. Namely, once the architectures are finished, the authorities do not have to allocate any budget to infrastructure. In conclusion, based on the aforementioned, I prefer building
houses
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 in towns and
cities
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 because
this
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 policy is more economical for governments and more friendly to the vast majority of individuals.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating on the example of Taiwan by discussing any potential drawbacks or long-term effects encountered due to developing farmlands into residency. It adds depth and a critical perspective.
coherence cohesion
Focus on explicitly stating transitions when moving between arguments (e.g., 'On the other hand') to further enhance clarity.
task achievement
The essay thoroughly discusses both viewpoints, demonstrating an understanding of the topic and presenting a clear opinion.
coherence cohesion
A logical and organized structure with an effective introduction and conclusion helps enhance the clarity of the response.
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