In many countries, both parents are working, and this affects family life. Do you think the advantages of both parents working outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction

In several nations,

both

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parents

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are employed, and

this

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may impact their personal well-being. In

this

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essay, I will highlight the pros

as well as

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cons of working

parents

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and give my opinion.

Body paragraph 1

In recent times, the popularity of

both

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parents

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being employed has become a trend.

This

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could be for various reasons

such

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as buying an expensive house.

Furthermore

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, working individually involves benefits like financial stability and

also

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improving the standard of living.

For instance

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, it is often seen that

both

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parents

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working at a high-paying job are able to buy their dream car, which won't be difficult with one individual salary.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

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, there are some disadvantages as well.

Both

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parents

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working might have a negative impact on their children.

In other words

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home

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a home

show examples

is a place where a child grows up and learns different habits, if

both

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parents

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are working there is a possibility that they won't be able to spend enough time with their kids.

Moreover

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, spending an ample amount of time is crucial for a child's development.

For example

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according to

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a survey in Canada, a family with a homemaker had more intelligent children than a family with

both

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working individuals.

Hence

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, it is important for one parent to stay home for the development of their kids' future.

Conclusion

In conclusion, being financially stable could be

Change the article

show examples

advantage for some families, but majorly it may have a negative impact on a child's development and family life. In my opinion, the disadvantages of

both

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parents

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working outweigh the advantages.

brishjot999

May 28, 2024

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task achievement

Clarify your main points and ensure they align directly with the essay prompt. Link ideas with clear transitions.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the logical flow between paragraphs and enhance connections between ideas. Use more cohesive devices.

task achievement

Provide more specific and varied examples to support your arguments convincingly.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion well.

task achievement

You successfully present both advantages and disadvantages, covering the main aspects of the topic.

coherence and cohesion

The essay is generally well-structured with distinct paragraphs for different points.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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In many countries, both parents are working, and this affects family life. Do you think the advantages of both parents working outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people like to go on holiday abroad, while other believes it is better to visit places within their own country. Discuss both of view and give your opinion.

Some people believe that the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers instead of benefitting them individually. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the difference between the lowest paid jobs and Tho highest paid jobs should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree? j1

In some countries, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?