In many countries, both parents are working, and this affects family life. Do you think the advantages of both parents working outweigh the disadvantages?

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In several nations,
both
parents
are employed, and
this
may impact their personal well-being. In
this
essay, I will highlight the pros
as well as
cons of working
parents
and give my opinion. In recent times, the popularity of
both
parents
being employed has become a trend.
This
could be for various reasons
such
as buying an expensive house.
Furthermore
, working individually involves benefits like financial stability and
also
improving the standard of living.
For instance
, it is often seen that
both
parents
working at a high-paying job are able to buy their dream car, which won't be difficult with one individual salary.
On the other hand
, there are some disadvantages as well.
Both
parents
working might have a negative impact on their children.
In other words
,
home
Change the article
a home
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is a place where a child grows up and learns different habits, if
both
parents
are working there is a possibility that they won't be able to spend enough time with their kids.
Moreover
, spending an ample amount of time is crucial for a child's development.
For example
,
according to
a survey in Canada, a family with a homemaker had more intelligent children than a family with
both
working individuals.
Hence
, it is important for one parent to stay home for the development of their kids' future. In conclusion, being financially stable could be
a
Change the article
an
show examples
advantage for some families, but majorly it may have a negative impact on a child's development and family life. In my opinion, the disadvantages of
both
parents
working outweigh the advantages.
Submitted by brishjot999 on

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task achievement
Clarify your main points and ensure they align directly with the essay prompt. Link ideas with clear transitions.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs and enhance connections between ideas. Use more cohesive devices.
task achievement
Provide more specific and varied examples to support your arguments convincingly.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion well.
task achievement
You successfully present both advantages and disadvantages, covering the main aspects of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is generally well-structured with distinct paragraphs for different points.
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