IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think everyone should be a vegetarian because we do not need to eat meat to stay healthy. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In contemporary society, it is becoming popular among people to be vegetarians. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion, as eating
meat
Use synonyms
 consistently has a bad impact on our health.
However
Linking Words
, vegetables do not have some special ingredients that the human body requires. Nowadays, individuals are choosing a healthy lifestyle and quitting eating
meat
Use synonyms
 because it has a bad effect on
our
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 bodies and health conditions.
As
Correct word choice
Meat
show examples
meat
Use synonyms
 is high in cholesterol and saturated fat, which build up in the body, clog arteries, and stop the heart from working properly.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
meat
Use synonyms
 has some bacteria, which are mostly killed
while
Linking Words
 cooking but do not dissipate the toxins made by them.
For instance
Linking Words
, eating just two servings of
meat
Use synonyms
 a week will increase your risk of suffering from heart disease.
Thus
Linking Words
, as humans are worried about their lifestyle and want to build a healthy life, they are realizing how bad consuming
meat
Use synonyms
 is and trying to be vegetarians.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people may claim that vegetables do not have the appropriate amount of nutrients that only
meat
Use synonyms
 does. The high quantity and quality of
meat
Use synonyms
 proteins provide a higher nutrient density than plant proteins.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
meat
Use synonyms
 proteins
also
Linking Words
 contain a lot of
iron
Use synonyms
. The
iron
Use synonyms
 in
meat
Use synonyms
 is much more absorbent than the
iron
Use synonyms
 found in vegetables.
For example
Linking Words
, the intake and status of vitamin B12, vitamin D,
iron
Use synonyms
, zinc, iodine, calcium, and bone turnover markers were generally lower in plant-based dietary patterns compared to
meat
Use synonyms
-eaters.
In addition
Linking Words
, vegans had the lowest vitamin B12, calcium, and iodine intake,
as well as
Linking Words
 lower iodine status and lower bone mineral density.
Consequently
Linking Words
, as
meat
Use synonyms
 has some crucial ingredients that our body requires, people should eat an allocated quantity of
meat
Use synonyms
 products. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 it is beneficial and healthier to not eat
meat
Use synonyms
 as it has some bad ingredients, it is
also
Linking Words
 important to eat it in an appropriate amount as it gives some nutrients that plants do not have.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, try to make your ideas even clearer and more comprehensive by expanding and elaborating on your points. For instance, you could provide more specific examples or data to support your arguments.
complete response
While your response is complete, consider addressing a counter-argument or exploring the topic from another perspective to make your essay more extensive and nuanced.
relevant specific examples
You have provided relevant examples to support your arguments. To improve, ensure that your examples are more specific and detailed, which will make your essay more convincing.
logical structure
Your essay has a good logical structure, with each paragraph leading smoothly to the next. This makes it easy to follow your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are both clearly present and effectively frame your essay. You provide a good overview at the start and a concise summary at the end.
supported main points
You have supported your main points well. You provide reasons and examples to back up your claims, which strengthens your argument.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: