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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Along with their original language, many today’s students learn a second language in their primary schools. Do the advantages of this educational policy outweigh the disadvantages?

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One
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 of the conspicuous trends of today’s educational strategies is to teach young
children
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 an additional
language
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beside
Replace the word
besides
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 their mother
one
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in
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at
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 the primary level in schools. Personally, I believe that the benefits of the policy of teaching young school
children
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 a foreign
language
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 are more significant than the drawbacks, and the following paragraphs will elaborate more on that. On the
one
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 hand, there are many benefits for
students
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 to learn a
second
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language
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 early in their early educational life. The first
one
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 is that
children
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 would be able to master
this
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 new
language
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 at an early age.
This
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 is because their ability to grasp a new
language
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 is at the maximum level when they are young. A
second
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 benefit to add is that
children
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 will have the opportunity to get an insight into other cultures.
This
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 is expected to encourage them to become more
acceptance
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accepting
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for
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of
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 the cultural differences among different nations and cultures. A final merit to present is that making
children
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 able to easily deal with technology especially when the
second
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language
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 is a universal
one
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such
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 as the English
language
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.
On the other hand
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, studying a
second
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language
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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primary school would
also
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 involve some demerits. The primary
one
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 is that
this
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 policy is expected to negatively affect the mother
language
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 of the
children
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. Some young school
students
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 in Jordan,
for example
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, have started to confuse some English
vocabularies
Fix the agreement mistake
vocabulary
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 with Arabic ones. Another demerit to address is the additional study load that
children
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 should bear. To illustrate,
students
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 have
study
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to study
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 for more hours which could make them feel frustrated.
However
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, in my opinion, I believe that these drawbacks could be easily tackled by adopting an educational methodology that can help
students
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to
Verb problem
apply
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differentiate between their mother
language
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 and the new
one
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,
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apply
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 and
making
Wrong verb form
make
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 studying more enjoyable
instead
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 of increasing workloads.
This
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 could be achieved by applying strategies
such
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 as learning through playing. In conclusion,
although
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 teaching young
students
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 a new
language
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 early in their life could bear some drawbacks
such
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 as being harmful
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to
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on
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to
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 their first
language
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 and adding more studying loads on them, I believe that the benefits, which are allowing them to master
this
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 new
language
Use synonyms
 early, having insight into other cultures and helping them to easily deal with technology, are more significant.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear main point and that ideas are well-developed. Some points could be expanded further with more detailed examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Avoid repetitive language and sentence structures to enhance variety and complexity in your writing.
Task Achievement
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and ensure that each sentence is clear and concise. This improves readability and overall quality.
Task Achievement
Clear and comprehensive ideas presented in a well-structured format.
Coherence and Cohesion
Effective use of introduction and conclusion, providing a good overview and summary of the essay.
Task Achievement
Good use of relevant examples to illustrate points, enhancing the argument's strength.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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