In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

#world #life #expectancy #individuals #society #measures #impact #populations

Nowadays, life is expanding rapidly. So, some people are facing multiple daily issues

due to

the huge population.

This

essay will discuss the problems

as well as

the proposed solutions. As the number of humans is increasing, it is most probably the traffic is rising too. To illustrate, families used to drive a variety of cars, every member had their own.

Thus

this

is affecting the traffic, time management, and air pollution of the citizens.

Moreover

, the job chances will be reduced. Normally, companies have limited employers and tasks. If the number of the country's residents is higher than the number of careers, the salary range will be lower than assumed.

Additionally

, shelter and housing are expected to become more expensive. Here are some suggestions that can solve the current concern. First of all, by adding a county law for reducing the average of cars to one to three maximum for all families.

As a result

, the traffic inside the city will decline, and the movement of cars will be faster and more efficient.

In addition

, people can improve their careers by creating a start-up company or a personal business. There are a variety of types of freelancing jobs, that can be done at home or by individuals. Many channels and websites are encouraging

this

self-salary approach

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since it expands the income.

To sum up

, the world becoming harder than in the past.

This

is because of the development of life. It is proven by the essay some solutions that can be advantageous to apply.

Submitted by balqassab3 on Thu May 30 2024

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task achievement

Clarify the relationship between life expectancy and the problems discussed (traffic, job opportunities, housing). It is not clear how increasing life expectancy directly leads to these issues.

task achievement

Include more relevant and specific examples. For instance, you could cite specific countries or statistics related to traffic congestion and housing shortages due to aging populations.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow of ideas. The transition from discussing problems to proposing solutions should be smoother, and the solutions should directly address the problems identified.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point, supported by appropriate details. For example, the paragraph on traffic issues could be better structured to explain the causes and effects more clearly.

coherence cohesion

The essay has an introduction and conclusion, which provides a clear framework for the discussion.

task achievement

The solutions proposed are practical and can contribute to mitigating the problems discussed. For example, limiting the number of cars per family and encouraging personal businesses are realistic and actionable steps.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

average life expectancy
developed world
increase
individuals
society
personal goals
ambitions
quality of life
leisure
recreation
healthcare costs
challenges
healthcare system
ageing population
shortage
available workers
economy
retirement planning
healthy lifestyles
investing
social support systems

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In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries children engage in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable experience, important for learning and taking responsibilty. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence.

In many countries, the government prioritises economic growth above all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

Some people think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both side and give your opinions.