Being a celebrity such as a famous film star or sports personality brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

#celebrity #film #star #sports #personality

Famous people who receive attention from the public get both benefits and drawbacks.

Although

this

may bring them lots of

money

and work opportunities, they will not have privacy in their

life

and I believe that these advantages can not outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand, when becoming a star, they can earn a lot of

money

as well as

job opportunities.

Firstly

, the biggest advantage of fame is the gate to wealth.

This

is because many national and international brands are willing to pay a huge amount of

money

to endorse their products.

Furthermore

, well-known people have an influence on society so they will receive offers for advertising and get more work deals in their fields.

For example

, K-pop stars usually have a lot of

fans

, their

fans

tend to imitate their

life

so that

business

Fix the agreement mistake

businesses

show examples

will send them clothes, and food,… or photograph them to introduce new products or messages.

Nevertheless

, the problem of being a well-known person is undergoing excessive public and media attention. The first drawback is the lack of privacy.

This

is because when they become a person who is known by the public, they will be chased by the paparazzi and

fans

For example

, JK is a singer, who got a lot of anonymous calls and letters which threatened his

life

In addition

, some actors or actresses have faced numerous situations that can have dire consequences.

For instance

, some

fans

are crazy that they break into their

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

actor’s houses, take clothes or hide cameras in private places. In conclusion,

while

there are many advantages regarding making

money

and a prosperous

life

, I believe

this

upside can not outweigh the downside

according to

long-term risks. It is recommended before being involved in showbiz, everyone should prepare to cope with various situations.

Submitted by nguyetcat.dao on Fri Feb 23 2024

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coherence cohesion

Introduce a wider variety of linking words to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs for enhanced cohesion.

task achievement

To elevate your essay, incorporate a broader range of vocabulary and more complex sentence structures, particularly in your explanations and argument development.

task achievement

While your essay provides a good balance of advantages and disadvantages, aiming for a deeper exploration of each point with more detailed examples or consequences can further strengthen your argument.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Public scrutiny
Intrusive
Endorsements
Sponsorships
Financial security
High-profile collaborations
Social influence
Philanthropic efforts
Trust issues
Mental health challenges
Substance abuse
Pressures of celebrity
Expectations
Disconnect from reality
Normalcy

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Being a celebrity such as a famous film star or sports personality brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The restoration of old buildings in major cities in the world costs numerous government's expenditure. This money should be used in new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In genergal, people do not have such a close relationship with their neighbours as they did in the past. Why is this so, and what can be done to improve contact between neighbours?

Some feel that governments should prioritize healthcare instead of other important areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees, while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of admission fees outweigh the disadvantages?