When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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According to
a survey, people would live a
life
without working rather than working their whole
life
.
This
author disapproves of it because working is a necessary activity to live and to bring our dreams into real
life
. On the one hand, it is vital to acknowledge that working plays an important role in maintaining normal
life
. Particularly,
life
is involved and depends on food, drink, a safe place to sleep, and a suitable environment.
However
, those are unrenewable if they are destroyed or run out of.
Therefore
, creatures have to
work
for themselves to maintain them to supply enough to meet their demands.
For example
, inhabitants of China in the past had stopped growing plants and animals for food since they thought they could import enough for them to use, which led to a financial crisis and famine in
this
country.
On the other hand
,
full-working
Replace the word
a working
show examples
life
can bring our dreams into real
life
. There I no doubt that almost all of our fantasy thinking is unreal, at least with the recent technology and knowledge. And the action of working is fundamental to these progresses; thereby, indirectly letting our dream be done.
For instance
, recently, Apple has introduced a new product – Apple VR Glasses – the first step caching up with the imaginary technology of Tony Stark, who is the main character of Marvel Iron Man.
To conclude
, though
this
statement shows people would always choose not to
work
instead
of a
life
without
work
,
this
author thinks that the opposite is true
due to
the necessity of
work
in normal
life
and
also
the opportunity it creates to follow our dreams.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating more on the examples to show how they directly relate to your points.
task achievement
Ensure that all ideas are discussed thoroughly for a more comprehensive understanding.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking sentences and paragraphs more smoothly to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Some minor grammatical errors are present. Reviewing these could improve clarity.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear and relevant introduction and conclusion, which offer a strong framework for your arguments.
logical structure
You effectively presented your stance against the statement, giving clear reasons and examples.
task achievement
The essay consistently sticks to the question and addresses it appropriately.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • personal interests
  • social isolation
  • structured daily routine
  • sense of purpose
  • achievement
  • boredom
  • overworking
  • burnout
  • hobbies
  • family time
  • work pressures
  • stress
  • health issues
  • social interactions
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