Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musician and artists.
In today's globalised
world
some Add a comma
world,
consier
that Correct your spelling
consider
schollars
and technology experts give more contribute rather than musicians and artists. Personally, I agree with Correct your spelling
scholars
this
statement and in Linking Words
this
Linking Words
essay
I will explain my point of view.
On the one hand, it is considered that Add a comma
essay,
XXI
century is Correct article usage
the XXI
technology
era thanks to scientists. Their inventions make human life more comfortable and easier. Correct article usage
a technology
For instance
, going to another country used to take many months and days. But nowadays, by Linking Words
plane
we can travel all around the world. Add a comma
plane,
Moreover
, thanks to techie professionals we can keep in touch with our friends and family members no matter where are they. Linking Words
Furthermore
, in modern Linking Words
families
women Add a comma
families,
also
work and Linking Words
they
have domestic responsibilities. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Hence
, cutting-edge tools and modern gadgets help them to relieve Linking Words
houseworks
.
Correct your spelling
housework
On the other hand
, human has moral values and these distinguish him from Linking Words
another living things
. Musicians and artists feed our Replace the adjective
another living thing
other living things
soul
and help us to enjoy life. Fix the agreement mistake
souls
In addition
, a music piece or painter's can reflect Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
those
emossions
which we can not express. Correct your spelling
emissions
emotions
For example
, despite the fact that the most popular singer Michael Jackson Linking Words
does
not Verb problem
has
in
a life for Add a missing verb
been in
a years
his songs still are listening.
Correct the article-noun agreement
years
a year
To sum up
, scientists and technology professionals give more Linking Words
cintribute
for society, because their inventions help us to live more Correct your spelling
contribute
comfortable
. Musicians and artist pieces not Change the word
comfortably
cruccial
Correct your spelling
crucial
such
as schollars.Linking Words
Submitted by nargiz.nagiyeva0101 on
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task achievement
The essay needs more precise language, especially for key terms such as 'scholars' and 'contribute'. Correct spelling and grammatical errors for clarity, for example 'contribute' instead of 'contribure' and 'crucial' instead of 'cruccial'.
coherence cohesion
Organize paragraphs clearly. Ensure each paragraph logically follows the other. Strengthen the connections between ideas within each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Good structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
The essay has provided a complete response to the prompt, discussing both sides and sharing a personal opinion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?