Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musician and artists.

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In today's globalised

world

Add a comma

world,

show examples

some

consier

Correct your spelling

consider

that

schollars

Correct your spelling

scholars

and technology experts give more contribute rather than musicians and artists. Personally, I agree with

this

Linking Words

statement and in

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will explain my point of view. On the one hand, it is considered that

XXI

Correct article usage

the XXI

show examples

century is

technology

Correct article usage

a technology

show examples

era thanks to scientists. Their inventions make human life more comfortable and easier.

For instance

Linking Words

, going to another country used to take many months and days. But nowadays, by

plane

Add a comma

plane,

show examples

we can travel all around the world.

Moreover

Linking Words

, thanks to techie professionals we can keep in touch with our friends and family members no matter where are they.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, in modern

families

Add a comma

families,

show examples

women

also

Linking Words

work and

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

have domestic responsibilities.

Hence

Linking Words

, cutting-edge tools and modern gadgets help them to relieve

houseworks

Correct your spelling

housework

On the other hand

Linking Words

, human has moral values and these distinguish him from

another living things

Replace the adjective

another living thing

other living things

show examples

. Musicians and artists feed our

soul

Fix the agreement mistake

souls

show examples

and help us to enjoy life.

In addition

Linking Words

, a music piece or painter's can reflect

that

Correct pronoun usage

those

show examples

emossions

Correct your spelling

emissions

emotions

which we can not express.

For example

Linking Words

, despite the fact that the most popular singer Michael Jackson

does

Verb problem

has

show examples

not

Add a missing verb

been in

show examples

a life for

a years

Correct the article-noun agreement

years

a year

show examples

his songs still are listening.

To sum up

Linking Words

, scientists and technology professionals give more

cintribute

Correct your spelling

contribute

for society, because their inventions help us to live more

comfortable

Change the word

comfortably

show examples

. Musicians and artist pieces not

cruccial

Correct your spelling

crucial

such

Linking Words

as schollars.

nargiz.nagiyeva0101Wed Jun 05 2024

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task achievement

The essay needs more precise language, especially for key terms such as 'scholars' and 'contribute'. Correct spelling and grammatical errors for clarity, for example 'contribute' instead of 'contribure' and 'crucial' instead of 'cruccial'.

coherence cohesion

Organize paragraphs clearly. Ensure each paragraph logically follows the other. Strengthen the connections between ideas within each paragraph.

coherence cohesion

Good structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

task achievement

The essay has provided a complete response to the prompt, discussing both sides and sharing a personal opinion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

228 words

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Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musician and artists.

Your opinion

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

How important is to teach children about sustainability? These days, looking after our environment is increasingly important, and children should learn about sustainability. Write about the extent you agree with this statement.

International tourism has led to an huge increase in the number of visitors to many historical sites around the world. To what extent is this a positive or negative phenomenon.