Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of all societies. Do you think art and music still have a place in today's modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?

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Since we are living in a digital age ,people here are paying more attention to technology developments rather than

art

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and

music

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.In my view , the Modern

generation

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should not forget about

art

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's importance and schools and universities

also

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must teach children about basic

art

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. First of all,

music

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plays a crucial role in improving the mental conditions of people.

In addition

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, it is

also

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a great way to relax after hard work.

For example

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,children spend a lot of amount of time learning and studying

subjects

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and listening to some melodies can give them a little bit of motivation and energy for

further

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studies.

Moreover

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, painting or singing can develop creative skills in them.

For instance

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,by making

art

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they can learn how to create ideas and make them real. Because of these reasons ,I believe

music

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and

art

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are important for kids’ development. When it comes to studying

art

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and tune in schools ,it would be a useful lesson for students .

For example

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,ancient writers and painters gathered a dozen pieces of important information and left it as a legacy in the form of

art

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to the modern

generation

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Finally

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, these

subjects

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in school can improve their imagination skills and critical thinking. Specifically,the most of historical professions and activities rejected painting and writing skills which can be developed by researching and studying these kinds of

subjects

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. In conclusion,

art

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and

music

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play an indisputable role in the past

generation

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as well as

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the present

generation

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. I absolutely agree that educational universities and schools must provide

this

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kind of

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subjects

Fix the agreement mistake

subject

show examples

as it has proven benefits for them.

rghdbyby47Sat Jun 08 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader.

logical structure

Ensure each paragraph contains a single main idea and that it flows logically into the next.

supported main points

Develop points with more detailed examples and explanations to make the argument stronger.

complete response

The essay introduces relevant points about the importance of art and music.

introduction conclusion present

There is a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.

relevant specific examples

Examples provided (e.g., role of music in mental health, creativity in children) are relevant and support the main ideas.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural identity
cognitive benefits
emotional expression
mental well-being
mindfulness
human connection
creativity
critical thinking
discipline
collaboration
economic contributions
academic performance

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Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of all societies. Do you think art and music still have a place in today's modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?

Spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems

Some people say that arts subject such as painting or drawing should not be made compulsory for high school students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In order to be successful at a sport, some think you must be phusically strong while others believe mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development.

Some people think new homes need to be built with private outdoor space such as a garden, yard, or balcony. Do you think this is more advantageous or more disadvantageous?