Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of all societies. Do you think art and music still have a place in today's modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?

Since we are living in a digital age ,people here are paying more attention to technology developments rather than
art
and
music
.In my view , the Modern
generation
should not forget about
art
's importance and schools and universities
also
must teach children about basic
art
. First of all,
music
plays a crucial role in improving the mental conditions of people.
In addition
, it is
also
a great way to relax after hard work.
For example
,children spend a lot of amount of time learning and studying
subjects
and listening to some melodies can give them a little bit of motivation and energy for
further
studies.
Moreover
, painting or singing can develop creative skills in them.
For instance
,by making
art
they can learn how to create ideas and make them real. Because of these reasons ,I believe
music
and
art
are important for kids’ development. When it comes to studying
art
and tune in schools ,it would be a useful lesson for students .
For example
,ancient writers and painters gathered a dozen pieces of important information and left it as a legacy in the form of
art
to the modern
generation
.
Finally
, these
subjects
in school can improve their imagination skills and critical thinking. Specifically,the most of historical professions and activities rejected painting and writing skills which can be developed by researching and studying these kinds of
subjects
. In conclusion,
art
and
music
play an indisputable role in the past
generation
as well as
the present
generation
. I absolutely agree that educational universities and schools must provide
this
kind of
subjects
Fix the agreement mistake
subject
show examples
as it has proven benefits for them.
Submitted by rghdbyby47 on

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introduction conclusion present
Provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph contains a single main idea and that it flows logically into the next.
supported main points
Develop points with more detailed examples and explanations to make the argument stronger.
complete response
The essay introduces relevant points about the importance of art and music.
introduction conclusion present
There is a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
relevant specific examples
Examples provided (e.g., role of music in mental health, creativity in children) are relevant and support the main ideas.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural identity
  • cognitive benefits
  • emotional expression
  • mental well-being
  • mindfulness
  • human connection
  • creativity
  • critical thinking
  • discipline
  • collaboration
  • economic contributions
  • academic performance
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