IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays work migration is a growing trend. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that proficient individuals like doctors and engineers should serve in the
countries
Use synonyms
 where they graduated from,
while
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 others think they can leave their nation freely and work where they prefer. In
this
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 essay, both perspectives will be explored and I will express my idea. On the one hand, it is said that the costs of students’ education are high and they are provided by taxes and governmental budgets.
This
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 money can be dedicated to other
people
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 of a nation, particularly low-income or poor populations of society.
As a result
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, it is the professionals’ duty to serve their compatriots.
Moreover
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, the migration of the vast majority of
people
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 with brilliant academic degrees might lead to some damaging consequences.
For instance
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, when a number of doctors leave their
countries
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, that region will encounter a lack of medical care service, resulting in an extreme increase in the rate of annual human mortality.
On the other hand
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, in some
countries
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, there are not enough job vacancies for professionals.
For example
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, in Iran, there are not enough job opportunities for aerospace engineers. So, they have no choice but to leave Iran and move up the career ladder in some developed
countries
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.
Also
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, in some areas, employees are not satisfied with their salaries. They claim that they cannot afford to provide basic needs
such
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 as a car and a house. In
this
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 situation, it is their right to go to where they can improve their
overall
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 life qualities. In conclusion,
although
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 some
people
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 are of the opinion that high-skilled
people
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 should stay in their town and serve their societies,
due to
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 the expenses dedicated to them and preventing devastating effects on a region, from my point of view they should not be banned from leaving their hometown in order to find a better job with brilliant payment, leading to better life satisfaction for them.

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task achievement
Your essay covers both perspectives and presents your opinion effectively. However, expanding on specific examples and including a few more details in your supporting points would strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure and clarity, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Using varied transition words and phrases can make the essay more cohesive.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets up the topic and clearly outlines what the essay will cover. This provides the reader with a roadmap of your argument.
supported main points
You have included relevant examples and strong supporting points to back up your perspective, which adds depth to your essay.
logical structure
The logical flow of ideas is mostly clear, making it easy to follow your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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