Some people think that countryside life is healthier while others believe that city is better in order to have a healthy lifestyle. Discuss both views with your own perception.

#people #countryside #life #city #lifestyle #perception

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Living far from the crowdedness of the

city

is becoming a trend nowadays. Some people believe that suburban

areas

are better than cities in terms of a healthy

lifestyle

. In my opinion, both

areas

have their own benefits and drawbacks and

this

essay will elaborate more on

this

topic. On the one hand, the countryside usually contains fewer people and is less crowded. It offers good quality air and might display natural scenery. But since it is located far from the centre of the

city

, it means that there will be fewer salary companies to work for.

For instance

, in Indonesia, there are a lot of people migrating from urban

areas

to the capital

city

Jakarta

to obtain a high salary in order to fund their lives.

Hence

they have to give up their slow

lifestyle

because in

Jakarta

everything is done fast.

On the other hand

, the big

city

usually offers sophisticated public transportation and good public

areas

which can be used as one of the ways to reach a healthy

lifestyle

For example

, 30% of workers in

Jakarta

use Trans

Jakarta

or MRT as their daily vehicle to reach their destination. That means they mostly walk to arrive at the bus station or train station.

Therefore

, those will increase their steps and help them to reach a healthy body.

To sum

Add a comma

up,

show examples

everything that has been stated so far, I think that either living in the countryside or a

city

is healthy, but it relies a lot on how our daily

lifestyle

is performed.

Submitted by pocutarifahzahrina on Sun Jun 09 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a clear response to the task and covers both views comprehensively. However, expanding on your main points with additional examples or details could improve the depth of analysis.

coherence and cohesion

While your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion, consider working on smoothing transitions between some points for even better fluidity.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-presented and encapsulate the main points succinctly.

task achievement

Your examples, such as the use of Trans Jakarta and MRT, provide relevant support to your arguments.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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