Some people think that sport is very important for society. Others, however, argue that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.（重复2011 年老题）

#people #sport #society #leisure #activity

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Sports

activities

has garnered many attention lately as health issues are

also

brought up frequently. Exercising oftenly viewed as a necessary for human's health. Without doubt, doing

sports

activities

brings a lot of benefit in maintaining our body stamina. In

this

essay, I will elucidate on why is it very important for the society to prioritize doing exercise on the forthcoming paragraphs.

To begin

with,

this

society is standing because of its

people

. WHO stated

sports

activities

are beneficial for human's health.

For instance

, cardiovascular

sports

activities

have impacts in increasing our heart's stamina.

Moreover

, a human needs stamina in order to carry out their daily tasks.

In addition

, working out helps us burn more calories, which is compulsory in losing some body fat and weight.

Furthermore

, a healthy community can only be achieved if every part of the society cares about their well-being.

Whereas

, some disease are airborne and easily transmitted. To reduce the risk of getting transmitted from these diseases are by strengthening our immune system through exercises.

Hence

sports

activities

become a key factor in creating a healthy environment.

On the other hand

, numerous

people

does not see the importance of working out and only sees it as

activities

to do during their leisure

time

However

, by considering doing exercises in their spare

time

shows how sport

activities

enhance human's emotion. Oftenly, during our leisure

time

, we tend to do exhilarating

activities

Therefore

people

who works out only on their spare

time

tends to have different principles. They seek for happiness through

sports

instead

of focusing on making yourself skinnier.

To conclude

, not a lot of

people

have the same mindset in terms of

sports

activities

However

, we can not deny the importance of

sports

activities

in bringing us advantages. Even to those, whose principle of

sports

only as a leisure

activities

, still manage to get the fruitful side of exercising.

Submitted by kezia.ch.wibowo on Sat Jan 20 2024

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Task Achievement

Make sure to introduce both sides of the argument equally before presenting your own opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion

Enhance the clarity of your main ideas by using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.

Task Achievement

Back up your points with more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs together more effectively.

Language

Be consistent in your use of tenses and ensure correct verb forms (e.g., change 'has garnered' to 'has garnered', 'oftenly' is not a word, instead use 'often').

Language

Pay attention to subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'numerous people does' should be 'numerous people do').

Coherence and Cohesion

Check the coherence of your ideas to ensure a balanced discussion of both viewpoints before presenting your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

314 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Physical activity
Sedentary lifestyle
Chronic diseases
Teamwork
Cultural divides
Revenue generator
Infrastructure
Patriotism
Role models
Commercialization
Recreation
Stress-relief
Elite sports
Injury risks
Doping scandals

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Some people think that sport is very important for society. Others, however, argue that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.（重复2011 年老题）

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that companies should manufacturing products that last for a long time. Others feel that the emphasis should be place on producing goods that are cheap. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. Do you agree or disagree?