The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking the visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two period

#numbers #visitors #ashdown #museum #year #show #surveys #visit #two #period

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The pie chart

provide

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provides

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information on the percentage of satisfaction of Ashdown Museum

visitors

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, after and before establishing some improvement on the Museum.The segments represent different categories including (Very satisfied, satisfied, dissatisfied, very dissatisfied, and No response)

Overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

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visitors

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visitors'

visitor's

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experience has enhanced and

the

Correct article usage

apply

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Change preposition

apply

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their satisfaction has increased after

estblishing

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establishing

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refurbishement

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refurbishment

. Before

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refurbishement

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refurbishment

, a substantial portion of the chart is dedicated to those who expressed their dissatisfaction, accounting for 40%.

While

Linking Words

individuals who reported very dissatisfied represent 30% of the total responses. Followed by 15% who were satisfied and 10% who reported very satisfied, only 5% gave no response. After

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refurbishement

Correct your spelling

refurbishment

, a substantial portion of the chart is dedicated to those who expressed their satisfaction, accounting for 40%.

While

Linking Words

individuals who reported

very

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being very

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satisfied represent 35% of the total responses. On the negative side, 15% of the

visitors

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after the improvement were dissatisfied and 5% reported very dissatisfied, only 5% gave no response. In summary, it is worth noting that

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visitors

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visitors'

visitor's

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experience has significantly increased after the

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refurbishement

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refurbishment

, representing

the

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show examples

large proportion of the total responses.

Submitted by marammajid1999 on Wed Jun 12 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, refurbishement with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "gave" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "represent" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "improvement" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "substantial" was used 2 times.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

181 words

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The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking the visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two period

Internet has advantages and disadvantages.Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is a good idea to socialize with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it is important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the modern world, many employees lack soft skill such as communication and working in the teams. What are the main causes of this problem? What are the effects of the lack of such skills ?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?