In recent years, the structure of a family and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of changes can occur? Do you think these changes are positive and negative?
In recent years, there has been a gradual change in the organization of a family and the responsibility of its
members
. Some people
believe this
modification has many advantages. However
, others think that it could also
have some negative effects. In my opinion, I think that these changes are both
positive and negative. Discussed below are several benefits as well as
drawbacks of this
issue.
First and foremost, people
should recognize that there are many advantages of the gradual change in the structure of a family and the position of its members
. A very important point to consider is that it is the best way to protect and maintain relationships among family members
in well. This
means that in the past, a traditional family had several generations living together but today thanks to the development of technology, people
’s living standards are also
higher causing the need for personalization lifestyles which has created a large gap between people
., the nucleus families
which have a couple and their dependent children and alone lifestyle increasingly are popular. Therefore
, if they still live together like before, it will lead to arguments. So, the gradual growth of nuclear families
which have only a couple and their dependent children to solve this
issue. For example
, I do not live with my parents because they have a habit of getting up very early while
I stay late and get up late. Consequently
, many controversies occur to protect owner opinion between my parent and I
On the other hand
, in addition
to the important advantages of this
problem, it has some disadvantages. In fact, people
have this
opinion because this
has a negative effect on both
the physical and mental health of individuals. To illustrate, nowadays, various young and old individuals who live alone pass away in their owner's houses because nobody helped them timely or the nuclear families
are also
unable to take care of their children carefully because they are busy earning money. I believe that if they live in a traditional family, they will not face this
problem because they will have support from members
of their families
.
In conclusion. It seems to me that the organization of a family and the responsibility of its members
witnessing a gradual change can be both
positive in protecting and maintaining relationships among family members
in well
and negative of a negative effect on Correct word choice
good
both
the physical and mental health of individuals.Submitted by writingeilts on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt well, discussing both positive and negative changes in family structure. However, ensure that ideas are presented clearly and logically. For example, use more signposting language to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Some transitions between ideas and paragraphs are unclear. Improve coherence by using linking words more effectively (e.g., 'However,' 'Therefore,' 'In conclusion').
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. While the example of not living with your parents is relevant, it could be expanded to show its broader implications.
coherence cohesion
The introduction provides a clear overview of the topic and states your opinion effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed both the benefits and drawbacks of changes in family structure, showing a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the main points effectively and brings the essay to a clear close.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.