The older you get; life becomes more difficult. Discuss.

#life

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Ageing is a natural process that happens to everyone.

However

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, a certain number of

people

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believe that there are various benefits that

people

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get after getting old

whereas

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critics say that increasing

age

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brings a lot of hardships with it.

Thus

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this

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essay will delve into the pros

as well as

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cons of growing

age

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and will lead to a logical conclusion as well.

To begin

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with, the most prominent advantage to grown-ups is that they get the freedom to make their own decisions. They do not have any restrictions on them

while

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buying commodities. They can spend as much as they want and can purchase all the luxuries for them.

Moreover

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, without any trouble, they are able to deal with all the difficulties of their lives as their emotional quotient and intelligence quotient act as an aid to solve all the hurdles in their path and

this

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help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

them to choose

Correct article usage

the

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right trajectory to get successful.

For instance

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, in childhood when a kid fails an exam, they get really disappointed

while

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the grown-ups do not do so,

instead

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, they get more dedicated to achieving their targets. On the flip side, the primary reason to consider old

age

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a hard part of life is that at

this

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point the body of individuals gets physically weak, and they are not able to carry out their daily routine accurately. They acquire someone's help most of the time, which makes them really dependent on others, which is quite disappointing as they may incur health problems like diabetes or high blood pressure.

Furthermore

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the

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show examples

young

age

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is full of happiness

due to

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no tensions around you.

However

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, in old

age

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, there are many

people

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in the family that you need to take care of, like your children and your parents.

Therefore

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, growing

age

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not only brings grey hairs, but it

also

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brings huge responsibilities.

To conclude

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, if old

age

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brings freedom and happiness

then

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also

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renders some health troubles

along with

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a bunch of responsibilities on shoulders. Growing

age

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is a natural phenomenon

thus

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people

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need to adjust them

accordingly

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to live a healthy life.

Submitted by ss6802125 on Fri Jun 14 2024

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task achievement

To further improve the essay, consider adding more specific examples to illustrate your points and enhance the clarity of your argument. Specific examples make your discussion more concrete and relatable.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to language precision and avoid redundancy. For instance, instead of saying 'adults get the freedom to make their own decisions,' you could say 'adults have the freedom to make their own decisions.' Also, avoid repetitive sentence structures to keep the narrative engaging.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the intention of discussing both the positive and negative aspects of aging, which sets a good foundation for the essay.

introduction conclusion present

The essay includes a well-structured conclusion that summarizes the arguments and provides a logical end to the discussion.

supported main points

The essay presents balanced viewpoints and explores both benefits and hardships of aging, demonstrating an understanding of the complexity of the topic.

logical structure

The ideas are clear, and the essay maintains a logical flow from one point to the next, which makes it easy to follow.

18
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

353 words

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The older you get; life becomes more difficult. Discuss.

Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks and motorcylces are banned from city center. People are encouraged to use public transports such as buses, taxis and metro on vehicle-free day. To what extent do you think the advantages of this outweighs the disadvantages?

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and cociety. To what extent do you agree?

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and giver your own opinion.

As air travel has become cheaper, more and more people are travelling abroad for their vacations instead of visiting places in their own country. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Schools should stop using books for teaching to learn as they find them boring, and use films, TV and computers instead. To what extent do you agree with this?