The older you get; life becomes more difficult. Discuss.
Ageing is a natural process that happens to everyone.
However
, a certain number of people
believe that there are various benefits that people
get after getting old whereas
critics say that increasing age
brings a lot of hardships with it. Thus
, this
essay will delve into the pros as well as
cons of growing age
and will lead to a logical conclusion as well.
To begin
with, the most prominent advantage to grown-ups is that they get the freedom to make their own decisions. They do not have any restrictions on them while
buying commodities. They can spend as much as they want and can purchase all the luxuries for them. Moreover
, without any trouble, they are able to deal with all the difficulties of their lives as their emotional quotient and intelligence quotient act as an aid to solve all the hurdles in their path and this
help
them to choose Change the verb form
helps
a
right trajectory to get successful. Correct article usage
the
For instance
, in childhood when a kid fails an exam, they get really disappointed while
the grown-ups do not do so, instead
, they get more dedicated to achieving their targets.
On the flip side, the primary reason to consider old age
a hard part of life is that at this
point the body of individuals gets physically weak, and they are not able to carry out their daily routine accurately. They acquire someone's help most of the time, which makes them really dependent on others, which is quite disappointing as they may incur health problems like diabetes or high blood pressure. Furthermore
, the
young Correct article usage
a
age
is full of happiness due to
no tensions around you. However
, in old age
, there are many people
in the family that you need to take care of, like your children and your parents. Therefore
, growing age
not only brings grey hairs, but it also
brings huge responsibilities.
To conclude
, if old age
brings freedom and happiness then
it also
renders some health troubles along with
a bunch of responsibilities on shoulders. Growing age
is a natural phenomenon thus
, people
need to adjust them accordingly
to live a healthy life.Submitted by ss6802125 on
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task achievement
To further improve the essay, consider adding more specific examples to illustrate your points and enhance the clarity of your argument. Specific examples make your discussion more concrete and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to language precision and avoid redundancy. For instance, instead of saying 'adults get the freedom to make their own decisions,' you could say 'adults have the freedom to make their own decisions.' Also, avoid repetitive sentence structures to keep the narrative engaging.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the intention of discussing both the positive and negative aspects of aging, which sets a good foundation for the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The essay includes a well-structured conclusion that summarizes the arguments and provides a logical end to the discussion.
supported main points
The essay presents balanced viewpoints and explores both benefits and hardships of aging, demonstrating an understanding of the complexity of the topic.
logical structure
The ideas are clear, and the essay maintains a logical flow from one point to the next, which makes it easy to follow.