In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? ive reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own nowledge or experience.
In certain parts of the world,
kids
are being told that they can succeed in everything if they put much
effort.There are merits and demerits to giving Change preposition
in much
this
advice
to children
.This
essay will discuss the positive and negative effects of this
message
on young people with reasons and examples.
To embark on, a huge
positive effect on Change the adjective
hugely
children
, from this
message
is that they will set themselves a goal and try to achieve it.This
advice
encourages kids
to dream bigger and work
hard to fulfill
that dream.With Change the spelling
fulfil
this
advice
children
are not backing out from their goals,they will reach their maximum potential.From my personal experience, there was this
kid with a disability in his ]his legs.He was a talented actor.He always wished to become a movie actor but became dejected due to
his disability.The school's art teacher often encouraged him to act in school plays.He regained his self-esteem and confidence through constant practice and hard work
.Currently, he is acting in television shows.This
advice
can really bring out so much from young people.
On the other hand
, there are a few disadvantages also
.India has become the country with the leading number of student suicides.This
can be seen as an after-effect of overuse of the above message
on children
.Indian parents are pressuring children
to come on top of many competitive exams.They are given rigorous training to achieve that.A lot of money and time is invested in exams like NEET and JEE. There are so many students who are repeatedly trying to clear the exams and failing on each attempt.They are wasting their student years and falling into depression after not achieving success.Hence
there are many students who try to end their lives.This
is a big tragedy.
In conclusion, the message
states that kids
are often told they can win anything if they work
harder has a great impact on kids
, both positive and negative.Positive being they will work
hard to achieve their goals and succeed in life.The negative is, that students are put under much more pressure from continuous failures, often resulting in student suicides.Submitted by augustinjose99 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on refining the logical flow between your ideas. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This will improve coherence and make your argument more persuasive.
task achievement
Provide more supporting details for your arguments to ensure that your main points are comprehensively addressed. This will enhance the depth of your task response.
task achievement
While including examples is good, make sure they are directly relevant and clearly support the points you're trying to make. This will make your essay more compelling.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses both advantages and disadvantages of the given message, providing a balanced viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present and serve their purpose well in framing the essay and summarizing the main points.
task achievement
Personal experience used in the essay adds credibility and relatability to the arguments presented.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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