With the last century witnessing significant technological advancements, some argue that these developments come with negative repercussions for our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
With the rapid
advancements
in technology
over the last
century, there are divergent opinions regarding its impact on our lives
. While
some people believe that these developments have brought about negative consequences, I strongly disagree and believe that the benefits far outweigh any drawbacks.
The technological advancements
of the past century have revolutionized various aspects of our lives
. For instance
, the invention of the internet has connected people worldwide, allowing for seamless communication and facilitating the exchange of information. This
has revolutionized education, as individuals now have access to a vast array of resources and learning opportunities. Moreover
, advancements
in healthcare technology
have significantly improved the quality and effectiveness of medical treatments, resulting in longer life expectancy and enhanced well-being.
In addition
, technology
has transformed the way we work. The introduction of automation and robotics has increased productivity and efficiency in many industries. This
has led to economic growth and the creation of new job opportunities. Furthermore
, technology
has allowed for flexible working arrangements, enabling individuals to work remotely and maintain a better work-life balance.
While
critics argue that technological advancements
can lead to social isolation and decreased physical activity, I firmly believe that these drawbacks can be mitigated. For instance
, social media platforms and communication applications enable individuals to connect with others and maintain relationships, even across great distances. Additionally
, the proliferation of fitness and health-tracking devices motivates people to lead healthier lives
and engage in physical activities.
In conclusion, the technological advancements
of the past century have undeniably transformed our lives
for the better. The internet has facilitated global connectivity and education, while
healthcare technology
has improved our well-being. Moreover
, technology
has revolutionized the workplace, increasing productivity and creating new job opportunities. Therefore
, I completely disagree with the notion that these developments have negative repercussions.Submitted by shani.menglieva.94 on
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task response
Your essay addresses the task very well by presenting a clear stance and supporting your viewpoint with relevant examples. For an even stronger response, consider providing more balanced arguments by possibly acknowledging more counterpoints.
coherence
Your essay is mostly well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to maintain coherence. Consider using more linking words or phrases to improve flow.
cohesion
To further enhance the clarity and impact of your main points, consider elaborating on some examples or providing additional statistics or case studies. This will help to substantiate your arguments more thoroughly.
introduction
The introduction effectively sets the stage for your argument and clearly states your position, which is maintained consistently throughout the essay.
supported points
You have successfully highlighted the positive impacts of technology in various fields such as education, healthcare, and the workplace, supported by relevant examples.
conclusion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes your main arguments and reinforces your stance, providing a clear end to your essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example