IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Advertising has become an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some people say that advertising is a postive part of lives while others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views and include your own opinion.

In today’s fast-paced consumer society, advertising has permeated nearly every aspect of daily life, from television and social media to billboards and mobile apps.
While
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 some individuals see advertising as a helpful tool that informs and empowers
consumers
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, others view it as a manipulative force that encourages materialism and unnecessary spending.
This
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 essay will explore both perspectives, but I personally believe that
although
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 advertising has some negative effects, its role in modern society is largely beneficial when approached with awareness and regulation. On the one hand, advertising offers clear advantages by educating
consumers
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 and supporting economic growth. Well-crafted advertisements help people become aware of new products, services, and innovations that can improve their daily lives.
Furthermore
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, advertising funds much of the media
content
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 we consume, from free news websites to entertainment.
For example
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, online platforms like YouTube rely heavily on advertising revenue to provide free access to educational and entertaining
content
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, which benefits millions of users globally.
This
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 financial model promotes creativity, diversity of
content
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, and economic opportunities for businesses and
content
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 creators alike. Despite these advantages, critics argue that advertising often crosses ethical boundaries and negatively influences individual
behavior
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behaviour
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.
On the other hand
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, many people believe that advertising manipulates
consumers
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 and promotes unrealistic standards and materialism. Advertisements often exaggerate product benefits or appeal to emotions in ways that create false needs or insecurities, especially among younger audiences.
For instance
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, beauty and fashion ads frequently portray unattainable body images, which can contribute to low self-esteem and unhealthy lifestyle choices among teenagers.
This
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 can lead to compulsive buying habits, increased debt, and a societal shift toward valuing possessions over personal well-being or relationships. Given these contrasting perspectives, a balanced approach to advertising is essential—one that maximizes its benefits
while
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 minimizing its harmful effects. Advertising is deeply embedded in the fabric of modern life and has a profound influence on how people think, shop, and live. In conclusion,
while
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 advertising can mislead and promote harmful values if left unchecked, it
also
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 plays a vital role in informing
consumers
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, supporting industries, and fueling economic growth. With responsible regulation and media literacy, its advantages can outweigh the drawbacks.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion, which is great. However, you can make it stronger by briefly mentioning the main points you will discuss in the essay.
coherence cohesion
In the second paragraph, make sure to connect your ideas more explicitly. For example, you could use phrases like 'this means that' or 'as a result' to link the advantages of advertising to its impact on daily life.
task achievement
You provided good examples, but adding a few more specific examples in the second paragraph could enhance your argument. For instance, mention specific ads that have caused issues or relate to the points made about manipulation.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which is important for this type of task.
coherence cohesion
You have used clear and logical paragraphs that make it easy to follow your ideas, which is a strong point in your writing.
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