Some people believe that children should start learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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A number of people believe that minors need to start learning
Correct article usage
the outlander
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outlander
Capitalize word
Outlander
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language
at elementary
school
rather than high
school
.
This
essay will shed some light on why the benefits of learning a different
language
in primary
school
outweigh the drawbacks. Primary
school
time is known to be the most important period to teach kids many things, it is really important and
also
playful. During
this
time, children are really excited about meeting friends their age, playing together, discovering anything they haven’t seen before, and trying
many
Rephrase
as many
show examples
things as they want.
Therefore
it is reasonable that they can not focus on studying.
Moreover
, they are not mature enough to know the benefits of learning a foreign
language
, they might just use their mother
language
to communicate with others. I have a five-year-old patient who can not speak
Bahasa
even though he has been living in Indonesia for the rest of his life, he still can not speak
Bahasa
, because he is studying in an international
school
and his parents are
also
foreigners. He said he has been taught about
Bahasa
Indonesia at
school
, but he can not speak in
Bahasa
and he just knows about few words. A study from The University of Melbourne conducted in 2009 has claimed that offspring are like sponges that absorb information real quick knowing the fact that their brain is still barely empty.
Additionally
, we need to use
this
opportunity to build the way they see the world, how
Verb problem
apply
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to
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apply
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behave, and
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apply
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to
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apply
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think in the most effective way.
Moreover
, childhood memories tend to stay longer than old people’s memories.
Therefore
the information they consume at the moment will be rooted in their mind longer. Take
this
for example
, My neighbour’s daughter has been studying
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
since she was four years old. She turned ten
this
year,
now
Correct word choice
and now
show examples
she can easily speak to tourists in Bali with no difficulties, even though she has not learned it at
school
yet.
To sum up
, learning different
language
at primary
school
is really important for kids, in spite of the fact that in
this
period time of learning, they tend to be busy with their own world and friends.
Furthermore
, parental supervision is needed in guiding their minors for the benefits and effectiveness of
this
learning activity.
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task achievement
Consider rephrasing the introduction for better clarity. For example, replace 'learning outlander language' with 'learning a foreign language.'
task achievement
Support your points with more detailed examples and experiences. For instance, elaborate on how learning a foreign language has specifically benefited primary school children.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all sentences clearly follow a logical order. For example, you might first discuss why primary school is a good time for language learning, and then delve into evidence supporting this.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the transition between paragraphs using linking words like 'additionally' or 'consequently' to enhance the essay's flow.
task achievement
Revise sentences for grammatical accuracy. For instance, 'they are really excited about meeting friends their age' should be 'they are really excited to meet friends their age.'
task achievement
Clarify ambiguous ideas. For example, explain more about the child who cannot speak Bahasa, as it is a bit unclear.
task achievement
You have presented clear arguments on both sides of the issue, making it a balanced essay.
coherence cohesion
Good use of personal examples to support your points which adds a personal touch to the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Pronunciation
  • Fluency
  • Brain plasticity
  • Cultural awareness
  • Globalized world
  • Proficiency
  • Educational opportunities
  • Motivation
  • Resource constraints
  • Specialized teachers
  • Academic pressure
  • Parental involvement
  • Curriculum balance
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