Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words
Nowadays, unhealthy patients tend to prefer finding
alternative
medicines
and treatments
instead
of visiting a usual doctor
. I think the development of selecting alternative
medicines
or treatments
before visiting a doctor
is a negative development because alternative
medicines
and treatments
may not be certified or tested properly which might be harmful to patients. On the other hand
, mainstream healthcare, which does not harm you has been certified and tested for over a century.
For alternative
medicines
and treatments
, firstly
, I would like to categorize these therapies into two groups one is well-certified treatments
and medicines
another is uncertified treatments
and medicines
. I would say it is not bad to find alternative
healthcare, but it is inadequate to find it before consulting with a doctor
. Doctors also
know that alternative
well-certified healthcare has existed and it is also
an option for you to choose with their guidance. To illustrate, If a drug recommended by the doctor
has lots of side effects, you could ask for guidance with alternative
medicines
with lower effects.
On the other hand
, harm can occur by using uncertified treatments
and medicines
or well-certified ones without doctors' recommendations. For example
, a patient with a high heart rate due to
cardio-vascular
disease needs to have a drug to reduce his heart rate every day. Meanwhile, he has a headache and he prefers to use Correct your spelling
cardiovascular
alternative
medicines
that treat perfectly with his headache symptoms but raise his heart rate. These might be worse someday.
In conclusion, although
, alternative
medicines
and treatments
are dramatically helpful if you use them properly with doctors' guidance, it can be harmful if patients use it
without any concern from their Correct pronoun usage
them
doctor
.Submitted by thitiwatkem on
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task achievement
Try to clearly distinguish between certified and uncertified alternative medicines and treatments right from the start. Your argument becomes repetitive at times because the distinction was not crystal clear from the beginning.
task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to illustrate your points more vividly. Specific instances can make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Your paragraphs are overall well-organized, but ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying sentence structures to make your writing more engaging. At times, the essay seems a bit monotonous due to repetitively structured sentences.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are both present and contribute to a complete essay structure.
task achievement
Your argument for the negative impact of uncertified alternative medicines is clearly explained.
task achievement
The essay covers various aspects of the topic, showing a reasonable depth of argument.