In many countries it is now illegal to advertise alcohol. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #alcohol

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There are a lot of republics where

alcohol

Use synonyms

advertising is banned.

This

Linking Words

essay agrees with

this

Linking Words

idea because drinking can destroy families and advertisers influence

Correct article usage

the

show examples

nation’s minds destroying human identification identification Advertising of alcoholic beverages should be prohibited because

alcohol

Use synonyms

affects the mental and physical state of a person. If a person drinks a lot of

alcohol

Use synonyms

, various mental problems may appear that will affect life in general; thanks to

alcohol

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, schizophrenia, bipolar disorders, and so on can develop. When drinking

alcohol

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, a person harms not only himself

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

his family and friends. There are many problems with

alcohol

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in the CIS countries,

for example

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in Russia there are a lot of deaths from alcoholism, but after comparing the percentage of deaths from

alcohol

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, Russia banned

alcohol

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advertising on television, which led to a decrease in deaths from

alcohol

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There is another side to why “drinks of death” are advertised,

this

Linking Words

side shows why

people

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supposedly should buy

alcohol

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. The main goal of the seller is to sell more

alcohol

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even if the person’s

alcohol

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limit has been exhausted. Sellers, in principle, do not care what their product will lead to and what consequences

people

Use synonyms

will suffer after drinking the “drink of Satan.” A commercial company is trying to show

alcohol

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as a drink of rich

people

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, trying to show that if you buy

alcohol

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you will feel happier or something like that.

For example

Linking Words

, an advertisement for Korona beer shows a beautiful girl on the beach drinking beer.

However

Linking Words

at the end

Linking Words

of the advertisement, it is necessary to include a warning about the dangers of

alcohol

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and what the consequences will be if you consume that very “drink of death” Well, in conclusion,

this

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“suicide bomber’s drink” should be banned from advertising in other countries and the creators of

such

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drinks should not be allowed to profit from ordinary

people

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, I sincerely hope that

alcohol

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advertising will be banned in all countries

Submitted by interclass1982 on Thu Jul 18 2024

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task achievement

Your response tackles the task comprehensively but could benefit from more elaboration on each argument to deepen the reader's understanding.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your introduction states your thesis clearly and concisely. While your conclusion is strong, the introduction could be more clear about your stance.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are well-supported, but transitions between paragraphs can be smoother. This will help in maintaining a more cohesive flow of ideas.

task achievement

Work on reducing repetitive phrases and words to make your essay more concise and impactful.

task achievement

The essay strongly supports the central argument with relevant examples, particularly the case of Russia. This helps to illustrate your points effectively.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion wraps up the essay well and reinforces the main points clearly.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph contains a clear main point, which is crucial for effective communication of ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

325 words

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In many countries it is now illegal to advertise alcohol. Do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Advances in health and biology and other areas of society in the last 100 years have transformed the way we live as well as postponing the day we die. There is no better time to be alive than now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in What are the reason for this? How can people research this?

Write about the following topic. Some people think living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe arts such as painting and music cannot directly improve the quality of people's lives so that government money should be spent on other things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?