Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first sentence. Why is this happening and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

After
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
imprisonment, a
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of
offenders
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
a tendency to recidivism and
this
urgent issue has sparked heated debates throughout the ruling class. In these forthcoming paragraphs, I will discuss some of the main reasons and solutions to solve
this
problem promptly. Moral rectification, in which various jails around the world are lacking, is the vital key to changing one’s mindset. Most criminals are proven mentally unstable or psychologically deformed,
this
leads to deviant behaviours and unfortunate events without them acknowledging their crime. A prime example of
this
is the high rise of former convicts in the United States, who already had multiple criminal records, committing another theft or murder and feeling neither empathy nor regret.
This
illustrates how harsh prisons have been treating ex-
offenders
with physical punishments and no moral rectification in sight. One feasible solution to
this
rising issue is implementing more moral lessons in order to reduce crimes committed after serving the first sentence. Convicts can attend moral classes, and participate in different charitable work to raise funds for the victim’s family;
therefore
, change their mindset about harming people and fully feel sorry for their crime. Another noble example of
this
measure is the prison cat program in Indiana where
offenders
can receive a cat and buy necessities for them if they
accomplished
Wrong verb form
accomplish
show examples
enough missions. By that means, prisoners might restore their belief in humanity; and by caring for small beings, they will acknowledge the fact that we as humans,
also
have our very own precious lives which need to be cherished and appreciated. In conclusion, moral rectification is a crucial factor in restoring humanity in
offenders
during their time serving in prison.
This
solution should be activated as soon as
offenders
get sentenced to prevent
further
crimes committed.
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task achievement
Your response is comprehensive and adequately addresses the prompt. However, delve deeper into the root causes, such as socio-economic factors, to strengthen the argument. Further examples will enrich your points.
coherence
Your essay follows a logical structure with clear progression of ideas. However, ensure smoother transitions between arguments to enhance cohesion across paragraphs.
cohesion
Linking words and phrases could be more varied to create fluidity and connect ideas seamlessly. Avoid repetitive sentence structures and use diverse connectors to maintain reader interest.
language
Minor grammatical and phrasing adjustments could elevate the clarity and professionalism of your writing. For instance, rephrase: 'a quantity of offenders show a tendency to recidivism' to a more natural construction like 'a significant number of offenders tend to reoffend'.
task achievement
Your inclusion of specific examples, such as the prison cat program in Indiana, effectively supports your solutions and provides a clear context for your arguments.
coherence
Your essay benefits from a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your discussion well.
cohesion
The paragraphs are well-organized, each tackling a distinct point, contributing to the overall readability of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rehabilitation programs
  • root causes
  • criminal behavior
  • education and vocational training
  • job opportunities
  • reintegration into society
  • stigma and discrimination
  • social support networks
  • psychological impact
  • post-release supervision
  • support services
  • criminal networks
  • recidivism
  • second chance
  • counseling
  • mentorship programs
  • community engagement
  • employment opportunities
  • social reintegration
  • preventive measures
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