Some people think it does not matter if a professional sportsman or sportswoman misbehaves on or off the field if they play well. What is your opinion about this?

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It is argued that inside or outside of the playfield athletes can misconduct and it is not a serious matter.
This
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essay completely disagrees with the statement because
sports
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is the fair
game
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and any misbehaviour will lead to team unfortunate.
Sports
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,
such
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as the Olympics, are where people around the world compete with each other bringing their national flags.
In addition
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to that, it will represented by the Olympics worldwide and have several rules for them to comply with.
Also
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, it is
such
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an honour for athletes who can participate in
such
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international events. If an athlete cheats, they will disqualified and
this
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is unfortunate for the nation.
For example
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, a runner from Great Britain was dismissed from the
game
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due to
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start running off early.
This
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kind of event is
such
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a loss for Great Britain to take their medals.
Furthermore
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, misbehaviour is
also
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showing the personal traits of an athlete when outside of the
sports
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field. Mocking the jury is an example of where athletes can go wrong and there is punishment for
this
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.
For instance
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, One of the football players was mocking the jury because he did not accept the fact that his teammates got fouled in a
game
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.
As a result
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, the jury banned him from taking part in the
game
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and it was a disadvantage for his team. In conclusion, it is unnecessary for
sports
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players to behave inappropriately when inside or outside the
game
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field because it can create disruptive
sports
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games and can bring his or her team banned from the
game
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.
Submitted by alyalihan28 on

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coherence cohesion
You should focus on improving the logical flow of your arguments. The essay would benefit from smoother transitions between ideas. This will help readers follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Be sure to support your main points with more detailed examples. While you have included some examples, more specific and varied examples will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your arguments properly.
task achievement
Your essay addresses all parts of the task, providing a complete response to the question.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear and you have included relevant examples to support your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • role model
  • influence
  • integrity
  • tarnish
  • reputation
  • consequences
  • inappropriate actions
  • morale
  • unity
  • negative environment
  • sponsorship
  • brand image
  • ethical considerations
  • athletic performance
  • respect
  • fairness
  • values
  • behavior
  • impact
  • public attitudes
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