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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Modern
technology
Use synonyms
such
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 as Artificial Intelligence,computers, and the Internet are being utilised by a large proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 on a daily basis.In line with
this
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, it becomes a hot topic among the populace how
technology
Use synonyms
 affects human interaction.Some said the innovation has improved their relations with relatives via the Internet, and
otherwise
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.I will discuss my perspectives on both sides with evidence for each claim.
To begin
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 with, we cannot deny the fact that
technology
Use synonyms
 has brought
people
Use synonyms
 together. During the Covid-19 pandemic, social interactions are impossible as all countries are in their lockdown era. The large usage of communication apps like Zoom,Google Meets and Facetime were widely used during the period. You can interact with your friends on the north side of your country via one of these apps.
Moreover
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, you can acquire a life update from your friends and relatives who live miles away .
For instance
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, Ali clicked a Facetime button on his brand-new iPhone 12 to call Abu since they had not talked for ages.In summary,
this
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 automation has improved
people
Use synonyms
’s interaction even during the pandemic.
On the contrary
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, some believe
this
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 innovation has driven us apart which is
also
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 true if we look at the dark side of it.To illustrate
this
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,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
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children below the age of 6 years old have been provided with at least an iPad for themself by their parents. Parents are always busy with their work,so they provide a company to their children as a source of entertainment.They always play with their
iPad
Correct your spelling
iPads
 by browsing
Youtube
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YouTube
show examples
 Shorts or playing games.
However
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,not all content in that app is beneficial for children’s development.Parents must monitor their child utilisation of
such
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 apps.
Consequently
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, they lack of interaction with
people
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.In conclusion,
technology
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 has disrupted children’s development by its contents. To summarise, machinery has its own pros and cons depending on how we use it in our life.
Therefore
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,
it is clear that
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 the idea of
technology
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 either bringing
people
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 together or driving us apart can be supported based on
situation
Add an article
the situation
a situation
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 that we are in. After a thorough analysis of
this
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 subject, we as a wise user must use it correctly and control the usage of it.

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task achievement
To improve clarity and comprehensiveness, it would be beneficial to ensure all ideas are fully developed. For example, you can elaborate further on how technology drives people apart.
coherence cohesion
Remember to proofread your work to avoid minor grammatical mistakes and inconsistencies in punctuation, such as double commas in some places.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets up the essay by clearly stating the topic and outlining the main points to be discussed.
relevant specific examples
The essay includes relevant and specific examples, such as the mention of Ali using Facetime.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communicate
  • social media
  • virtual meetings
  • global community
  • isolation
  • distract
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personal connections
  • dependency
  • technology addiction
  • digital divide
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