The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#process #sugar #cane #information #features #comparisons

The flow diagram depicts how

sugar

is produced from

sugar

cane.

In addition

this

diagram provides eight specific pictures to help realize more

throughtly

Correct your spelling

thoroughly

Overall

, the flow diagram illustrates seven steps and it is divided the two major steps, respectively harvesting and manufacturing. To be with, the original ingredients of

sugar

are

sugar

canes

that need approximately 12 to 18 months to grow.

Subsequently

sugar

canes

are harvested by heavy machines and manpower.

Then

following the next step, these

sugar

canes

are crushed by the machine, which contains two massive wheels to manipulate, thereby producing

juice

. After

sugar

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

become

Correct subject-verb agreement

becomes

show examples

juice

, there is a purification system to purify the

sugar

juice

Furthermore

this

system contains a limestone filter to assist the process of purifying. Next

Juice

is sent to an evaporator, which uses the below heat to evaporate

juice

to become syrup. After the evaporator procedure, there is a centrifuge to separate

sugar

crystals from syrup. Ultimately, the

sugar

is drought and cooled in a huge cane.

Submitted by daniellin0717 on Fri Aug 02 2024

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, canes, juice with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

167 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

mature
harvest
extract
purification
impurities
evaporation
thick syrup
crystallization
centrifugation
molasses
raw sugar crystals
refinement
purify
whiten

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The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many museum charg for admission while others are free do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to musuems outweigh dsisdavantges

Nowadays the way many people interact why each other has changed because of technology In what ways has technology affected the types of relation ship people make Has this become a positive or negative development?

Governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move from large cities to the regional areas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

These days many parents want their children to study a second language such as English. Do you think it is important for younger children to study a new language? Do you think schools should teach every student in primary school a second language?