Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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Nowadays,

children

spend most of their time on

smartphones

. There are various reasons behind

this

, but the development of the Internet and technology act as the primary cause.

Although

this

can develop various skills for

children

, I strongly argue that the harmful impacts outweigh the benefits. There are multiple reasons why kids are attached to their phones.

Firstly

, the development of the Internet and technology has led to the creation of various entertainment sources. It is true that nowadays, there are a number of apps and games,

such

as YouTube and Rhythm Hive, that provide

children

with the fun they need on a small device. These apps are designed to be so interesting, with an unlimited resource of pleasure that

children

find the real world plain and boring,

thus

forming a strong bond between themselves and electronics.

Moreover

, the busy life of today can

also

contribute to the connection of

children

with their

smartphones

. It is true that a majority of parents are so focused on working that they pay less attention to their kids, leaving their offspring with no choice but to be friends with their

smartphones

Children

’s exposure to technology can benefit them to a certain extent, yet the drawbacks can have a greater impact. More time on the phone means less time for outdoor activities.

This

can lead to a number of health problems

such

as obesity and cardiovascular diseases. These health issues can heavily impact different aspects of

children

’s lives, both mentally and physically. In conclusion,

while

exposure to

smartphones

can offer some benefits relating to skill development, its disadvantages are arguably more negatively impactful.

Submitted by minhlieu.hnd on Mon Jul 22 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses the main points of the topic but could further elaborate on the reasons why children are spending more time on smartphones. Including additional reasons or expanding on the ones already mentioned would strengthen the essay.

task achievement

Ensure that each idea is fully developed with relevant, specific examples. For instance, citing specific studies or statistics pertaining to children’s smartphone use and its effects could make your argument more compelling.

coherence cohesion

While the essay flows well, using more varied linking words and phrases could enhance the coherence and cohesion. This would help connect ideas more smoothly.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction sets up the essay well by providing a clear overview of the topic and stating your position effectively.

logical structure

Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay, making it easy to follow the argument.

introduction conclusion present

The essay concludes effectively by summarizing the main points and reiterating your stance.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

Include an introduction and conclusion

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

*Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many difference from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasond? do the adventages outweight disadventages?

in some countries more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building their living. what are the reasons for this? how can people research this?

Some people think paying taxes is a big enough contribution to their society, while others think people have more responsibilities as members of society than only paying taxes. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.