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Band 6

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #attention
Nowadays, some
people
 think that promoting items is really successful at convincing us to purchase more items, but others believe that advertising is so popular that we skip it most of the time, personally, I think that advertising is a very useful tool that we can use to promote for our business. On the one hand, advertising is a fancy way to display products or services, and it is really successful at convincing us to buy more stuff, like: makeup, perfume, cars, skincare....etc.
For example
, most perfume stores and fashion
companies
 like Dior and LV use advertising in many different ways, and in the current days most of the time they use social media.
On the other hand
, many
companies
 send a lot of promoting notifications that most
people
 find boring, so they don't pay attention to , especially email spam and sponsored videos on YouTube
people
 most of the time they skip them and keep complaining about it,
For instance
, a recent study found that, most of the
companies
 which have the lowest salary they probably
also
 send lots of spam notifications, like in Qatar, Vodaphone have fewer costumers
then
 Oreedoo and that's because they send plenty of boring and annoying notifications.
To sum up
, definitely advertising is very successful and many
companies
 are using it to promote their businesses, but
also
 there are many boring ways of advertising that
people
 don't pay attention to , personally, I find advertising is a very helpful tool for new businesses.
Submitted by tasneematrash3001 on

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task response
Your essay provides a good starting structure, but there are areas that need more clarity and detail. Ensure each point you make is supported with specific examples or explanations to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Work on creating clear separations between your points and arguments. This will help the reader follow your logic more easily. Transition words and phrases can be very helpful in this regard.
coherence and cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present, they can be more distinct and impactful. Clearly state your thesis in the introduction and succinctly summarize your main arguments in the conclusion.
task response
Your essay addresses both views on the topic, providing a balanced discussion which is essential for a higher score.
task response
You have successfully included relevant examples to support your points, such as mentioning Dior and Vodafone.
coherence and cohesion
There is a logical structure to your essay, making it easy to follow your main arguments and points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
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