IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many social media accounts are fake What problems does ths cause? What Solatons can you suget?

#media #accounts #ths #solatons #suget
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Currently, a lot of media
accounts
 are not really.
This
 essay will delve into the details of these problems and propose potential solutions in order to address these problems that were raised by
this
 issue.
To begin
 with,nowadays,so many Facebook
accounts
in addition
 to Instagram profiles are fake which extent caused by technological advancement. To illustrate
this
, because of modern technology you can do something like that in a simple way. Some people tend to do
this
 in order to display some illegal action like cyber frauds
as well as
 cyber-attacks and don't take a penalty fairly.
This
 is because of data in the account are not real . Take the U.K. as a clear example, the prime minister Mr. Rashi said that I don't like to be alarmist, but the number of cyber crimes is on an upward trend owing to fake
accounts
.
Moreover
,
this
 issue has increased dramatically which is partially
due to
 weak penalties.
Therefore
, a lot of people do it because there are no fair punishments in the procedure to hinder them.
Therefore
, the demands to do something in
this
 dilemma are becoming louder and more common.
As a result
, what the governments have to do is render vigorous penalties in rule to tackle
this
 problem.Not only
this
, but the public has to be quite familiar with communication apps like FaceTime,and Face Messenger and don't display private information to the public like visa numbers .
Moreover
,the authorities have to provide a robust security system with social media
accounts
 to overcome difficulties that were raised by the given issue. So as not to suffer from
this
 trouble the previously given approaches have to be legitimate. In a nutshell, after a thorough analysis of the given topic, it is predicted that
although
 the number of fake
accounts
 has increased in the
last
 few years on account of the aforementioned reasons, the given solutions are the best way to overcome it.
Submitted by nadeenelkenawy4425 on

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coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay needs improvement for clarity. Ensure a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph in the body should have a clear main idea, followed by supporting sentences that provide more detail on that idea.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to help the essay flow more smoothly. However, avoid overusing them or using them inappropriately, as this may hinder rather than help the reader.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points more comprehensively by using relevant reasons, examples, and details. This adds depth to your argument and shows a better understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully answers all parts of the prompt. It seems that some parts of the question have not been fully addressed, such as specific problems and detailed solutions. Expand your response to include these aspects.
task achievement
Ideas need to be expressed more clearly and developed more comprehensively. Seek to convey your thoughts in a clear, direct manner.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates a deeper knowledge of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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