Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent
years
, many people believe that students
under 18 years
old should be required to have a full-time education
. From my perspective, I strongly agree with this
view due to
multiple reasons.
To begin
with, education
is essential for fostering a student's cognitive abilities. Kids who are able to go to school can learn basic fundamental ideas, concepts and belief systems that they need when they become
of age. Verb problem
come
For example
, a child who dreams of becoming a doctor will need a basic understanding of science in general, and usually, schools have a good system to teach kids in an age-appropriate manner. Then
this
basic foundation of science can aid the child in the future to achieve their dreams of becoming a doctor.
In addition
, education
should be the focus of students
who are less than 18 years
old because they are able to identify their strengths and weaknesses. The things that they learn through having proper education
can help them enhance their understanding of how the world works in the "real world" and they would not be abused by other people. For example
, in the Philippines students
are taught about labour laws before graduating high school as there is a high rate of students
not furthering education
and just finding work after high school graduation. This
will help them to be not exploited when they start working. Also
, students
should be allowed to participate in after-class activities or sports to develop soft skills which can aid in shaping their personality.
In conclusion, mandatory full-time education
should be required if a student is less than 18 years
old as it helps kids to
enhance cognitive abilities and social skills.Verb problem
apply
Submitted by estillorericamae on
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task achievement
While your essay responds well to the prompt and provides strong arguments, consider deepening your analysis. For example, discuss potential counterarguments and provide more specific examples or data to back up your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one, and use more varied linking words to enhance the flow. You can improve the logical structure by revisiting how points are connected and ensuring a smooth transition between them.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position, providing a clear direction for the essay.
task achievement
The points you made are supported with relevant examples, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your main ideas well.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point.
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