Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #time #education #years

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In recent

years

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, many people believe that

students

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under 18

years

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old should be required to have a full-time

education

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. From my perspective, I strongly agree with

this

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view

due to

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multiple reasons.

To begin

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with,

education

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is essential for fostering a student's cognitive abilities. Kids who are able to go to school can learn basic fundamental ideas, concepts and belief systems that they need when they

become

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come

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of age.

For example

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, a child who dreams of becoming a doctor will need a basic understanding of science in general, and usually, schools have a good system to teach kids in an age-appropriate manner.

Then

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this

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basic foundation of science can aid the child in the future to achieve their dreams of becoming a doctor.

In addition

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education

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should be the focus of

students

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who are less than 18

years

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old because they are able to identify their strengths and weaknesses. The things that they learn through having proper

education

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can help them enhance their understanding of how the world works in the "real world" and they would not be abused by other people.

For example

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, in the Philippines

students

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are taught about labour laws before graduating high school as there is a high rate of

students

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not furthering

education

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and just finding work after high school graduation.

This

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will help them to be not exploited when they start working.

Also

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students

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should be allowed to participate in after-class activities or sports to develop soft skills which can aid in shaping their personality. In conclusion, mandatory full-time

education

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should be required if a student is less than 18

years

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old as it helps kids

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apply

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enhance cognitive abilities and social skills.

Submitted by estillorericamae on Sat Aug 10 2024

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task achievement

While your essay responds well to the prompt and provides strong arguments, consider deepening your analysis. For example, discuss potential counterarguments and provide more specific examples or data to back up your points.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one, and use more varied linking words to enhance the flow. You can improve the logical structure by revisiting how points are connected and ensuring a smooth transition between them.

task achievement

Your introduction clearly states your position, providing a clear direction for the essay.

task achievement

The points you made are supported with relevant examples, which strengthens your argument.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your main ideas well.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is logically structured with clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

fundamental cornerstone
literacy and numeracy
social inequalities
foundation of knowledge
social mobility
informed and engaged citizenry
democratic processes
youth crime rates
productive activities
vocational training
workforce
stifling individual talent
economic contribution
stress and mental health issues
unsuitable educational system
one-size-fits-all approach
diverse talents
career paths
formal academic education
financial strains
low-income countries
improving quality of education

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Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Task 1, IELTS Academic The average consumption of fresh produce