some colleges encourage students to create businesses while they are still in school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

It is a common belief that it is good for college and university
business
programs to make their
students
start businesses
while
in school.
However
, there is a more persuasive argument that the disadvantages of
this
outweigh the benefits.
This
is because running a
business
can divert
students
' attention away from the basic goal of higher education. On the one hand, trying to get a
business
off the ground
while
still in college can help
students
put their ideas into practice using theories presented during their classes.
This
hands-on involvement offers the
students
a more engaging way of learning.
For instance
,
students
may be asked to write out a
business
plan for a food truck in class, but they will not know whether it would actually be successful without trying to bring their idea to life. If they are encouraged to set up the
business
, they will be able to see how to implement their plan and more easily gain practical knowledge that will be valuable in their future careers. Even though,
students
would struggle to concentrate on their studies if universities made them create businesses. Starting a
business
involves a significant commitment of time and energy, which
students
should be using to focus on studying.
According to
recent research, it takes an average of two years to get a
business
up and running.
Furthermore
, managing a successful
business
is a full-time job, which usually requires people to work at least six hours per day.
Students
would be unable to dedicate that amount of time to their
business
without neglecting their studies to some extent,
thus
hindering their long-term professional development.
To sum up
,
while
there are some advantages to encouraging
students
to start businesses as part of their studies, it is evident that there are far more disadvantages to forcing
students
to go into
business
while
in college.
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Language Use
Try to use more varied and complex sentence structures to enhance the fluency and readability of your essay.
Task Achievement
Consider providing a more detailed evaluation of the benefits and disadvantages. For instance, include specific examples or data to better support your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Aim to better connect the body paragraphs with transitional phrases to improve coherence and flow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay effectively includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which provide a strong framework for your argument.
Task Achievement
You have demonstrated a good ability to cover the prompt and have given a balanced view on both advantages and disadvantages.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • advantages
  • outweigh
  • disadvantages
  • real-world experience
  • practical skills
  • entrepreneurial mindset
  • creativity
  • financial independence
  • job opportunities
  • personal growth
  • professional growth
  • lack of focus
  • academic
  • financial risks
  • uncertainties
  • negative impact
  • grades
  • difficulty balancing
  • responsibilities
  • overall opinion
  • conclusion
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