Many people think that painting and music do not directly improve the quality of people. Therefore, government should not spend too much money on artistic projects. Do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, many

people

Use synonyms

in the community argue that painting or listening to

music

Use synonyms

does not improve their quality of life properly.

Hence

Linking Words

government

Use synonyms

should not use too much money on these projects. I totally agree and disagree at the same time.

To begin

Linking Words

with, some

people

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think that painting is a waste of time activities and

people

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must buy a device to listen to

music

Use synonyms

first,

Linking Words

hence

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, it can decrease their funds that are not necessary.

Furthermore

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, the

government

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should participate in reducing the finances

that

Linking Words

Change the verb form

are

show examples

spent on art to use more on hospitals

such

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as buying technology for medical care to improve the quality of patients.

For example

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, during the COVID-19 pandemic, it can be seen that every hospital in the world is not effective enough to solve

this

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crisis and it takes a long time to develop vaccines.

In addition

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, the

government

Use synonyms

should pay attention to their citizen's health care more than sculptures.

On the other hand

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, in the modern world, we have more and more

people

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that interested in art, and that can give them the power to create incredible paintings, most

people

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now listen to

music

Use synonyms

for entertainment and have a better mood during the day.

For instance

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, I prefer to hear the

music

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on the albums sung by Fuji Kaze in the morning before going to school.

Moreover

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, the

government

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should preserve the paintings that were important to the history of the world.

Consequently

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, they should spend more money on protection and maintenance. In conclusion, it depends on a person how necessary the painting and

music

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they think.

Finally

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, the

government

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should prioritize what comes first.

napatnp18065322Sun Aug 11 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced perspective. However, the points in support of your disagreement are not as well-developed as those in support of your agreement. Consider providing more detailed examples and explanations for both viewpoints.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. Some transitions could be smoother for better cohesion. Linking words and phrases would help in achieving this.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction clearly states your position, setting up your balanced view well. This is a strong start to the essay.

introduction conclusion present

Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your argument, reinforcing the idea that the importance of art and music depends on individual perspectives.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Many people think that painting and music do not directly improve the quality of people. Therefore, government should not spend too much money on artistic projects. Do you agree or disagree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st century, and sea levels continue to rise at alarming rate. What problems are associated with this, and what are some possible solutions?

In many countries, a financial crime involving identity theft is increasing. What are the causes of this trend, and what effects does it identity theft has on the victims involved?

With all the problems in the world today, spending money on space exploration is a complete waste. The money could be better spent on other causes. To what extent do you agree with this view?