It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future.
For many
people
, saving money
is a very important mindset in theri
Correct your spelling
their
lives
, especially for young people
. In this
essay, I will argue that saving money
is important. This
is an essential theory guiding our lives
and we should understand and handle it to make our lives
better.
First,
there are many risks
in our lives
, which actually we cannot predict when and where they will happen. So, we should save money
in our daily lives
. In general, we could save a fifth income
as our risk insurance. Once risks
happen, such
as illnesses, accidents
, Correct word choice
or accidents
this
insurance can help us out of trouble. This
is a very important means when we handle the risk. Also
, this
is one of preparations
in our family's daily Add an article
the preparations
lives
. Hence
, saving money
as a preparation can help us handle risks
better.
Second,
saving money
allows us to learn how to manage financial income
, especially for the youth. Take, for example
, many young people
don't have much money
during their schooling. They can earn money
from helping neighbours and some related activities. In this
period, young people
should learn how to use
their financial income
, such
as how to choose and purchase things they want. Because this
amount of income
is generally not large, the youth have to use
it carefully. In most cases, they have to save money
to achieve their goal, buying a
costly things. So, saving Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
money
can teach young people
to use
money
in an ideal way.
In conclusion, I totally agree saving money
is very important in our lives
. It can help us handle risks
better and teach us how to use
money
.Submitted by universe.edge on
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task achievement
Your essay does a good job in addressing the task response, but make sure all your points are fully developed and explained. For example, you could elaborate more on how financial planning impacts young people's future.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, ensure that your ideas are logically structured. Try to make the transitions between paragraphs smoother to improve the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which frames your essay well.
task achievement
The essay addresses the importance of saving money from multiple angles, demonstrating your ability to cover the topic comprehensively.
Your opinion
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