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Writing Samples
Band 6

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future.

For many
people
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, saving
money
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 is a very important mindset in
theri
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their
lives
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, especially for young
people
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. In
this
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 essay, I will argue that saving
money
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 is important.
This
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 is an essential theory guiding our
lives
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 and we should understand and handle it to make our
lives
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 better.
First,
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there are many
risks
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 in our
lives
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, which actually we cannot predict when and where they will happen. So, we should save
money
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 in our daily
lives
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. In general, we could save a fifth
income
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 as our risk insurance. Once
risks
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 happen,
such
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 as illnesses,
accidents
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or accidents
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,
this
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 insurance can help us out of trouble.
This
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 is a very important means when we handle the risk.
Also
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,
this
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 is one of
preparations
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the preparations
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 in our family's daily
lives
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.
Hence
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, saving
money
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 as a preparation can help us handle
risks
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 better.
Second,
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saving
money
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 allows us to learn how to manage financial
income
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, especially for the youth. Take,
for example
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, many young
people
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 don't have much
money
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 during their schooling. They can earn
money
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 from helping neighbours and some related activities. In
this
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 period, young
people
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 should learn how to
use
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 their financial
income
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,
such
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 as how to choose and purchase things they want. Because
this
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 amount of
income
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 is generally not large, the youth have to
use
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 it carefully. In most cases, they have to save
money
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 to achieve their goal, buying
a
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apply
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costly things. So, saving
money
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 can teach young
people
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 to
use
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money
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 in an ideal way. In conclusion, I totally agree saving
money
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 is very important in our
lives
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. It can help us handle
risks
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 better and teach us how to
use
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money
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.

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task achievement
Your essay does a good job in addressing the task response, but make sure all your points are fully developed and explained. For example, you could elaborate more on how financial planning impacts young people's future.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, ensure that your ideas are logically structured. Try to make the transitions between paragraphs smoother to improve the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which frames your essay well.
task achievement
The essay addresses the importance of saving money from multiple angles, demonstrating your ability to cover the topic comprehensively.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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