Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #competition #work #school #life

Some individuals compete in different aspects of their life

such

as occupation, education, and normal life

while

others prefer to collaborate with people. Both perspectives require careful examination, which we will discuss here.

Firstly

, the opponents of contesting point out that if the members of companies cooperate together, most of the issues will be resolved briskly. Because the members acclimatized to spend more time deliberating on issues, which means there are fewer chances for errors.

Moreover

, when children participate in teams, develop their competencies via peer learning.

That is

, throughout the projects, they observe how their friends face various problems, and tackle them through problem-solving, planning, and other skills.

Lastly

, routine life will be more enjoyable for family members.

For example

, my friend’s parents have been sharing their ideas, and planning together for recreational activities of children.

On the other hand

, supporters of that idea argue that in competitions, children will be prepared for real-life situations.

For example

, in Iran, there is a high-level competition for entering the top-ranked universities, and a small number of students can be accepted there.

Furthermore

, if the persons work in a competitional environment, the work efficiency will be increased considerably. In fact, employees should remove kinds of mental distractors to concentrate on functions completely so that to progress as much as other colleagues. As a

last

point,

this

atmosphere encourages the persons to expand their comfort zone.

Due to

the fact that individuals avoid the predictable occasions to improve their abilities by experiencing the different challenges. In conclusion, I feel that the stronger argument is in favour of taking the competitive situation apart with all negative options.

However

, some people might counter the challenges, it provides opportunities for improvement and success in future.

Submitted by raha.roham1994 on Sat Aug 17 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main point of the paragraph. This will help maintain a stronger logical structure.

Task Response

Make sure all ideas are fully expanded and supported with relevant examples. This will strengthen the argument and make it more comprehensive.

General

Try to use more varied and sophisticated vocabulary to enhance the overall quality of the writing.

General

Pay attention to sentence structures to avoid occasional awkward phrasing. This would improve the clarity and flow of the essay.

Task Response

The essay covers both views on competition and cooperation effectively, discussing their merits and drawbacks.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a good framing for the essay.

Task Response

There are relevant examples provided to support the main points, enhancing the arguments made.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
productivity
excel
outperform
advancements
academic standards
work ethic
stress
anxiety
unhealthy rivalries
harmonious
supportive
collaborative learning
social skills
communication skills
sense of community
collective goals

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Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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