As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The
internet
is one of the most popular elements in
people
's lives these days, and because of
this
,
newspapers
are becoming more and more unclaimed and unpopular. Personally, I totally agree with
this
statement and
this
essay will explain why.
To begin
with the
internet
, a large number of individuals tend to utilize online platforms, websites and so on, scrolling through or checking the
news
.
For instance
, these days,
people
use some online websites
such
as USA
News
, BBC
News
, and Asian information in order to be informed about the information going around the world.
Moreover
, many individuals say that it is convenient to use the
internet
to read the
news
or something else
instead
of purchasing real
newspapers
. By doing
this
, a lot of
people
have the opportunity to economize some money and save some time,
also
it is clear that
the
internet
provides a plenty amount of facilities
such
as translation, notes, sharing programmes and so on. There are several reasons why
people
have come to believe that
newspapers
are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
items of the past. First of all, it is probably true that in some areas if
people
want to read the
news
, they will buy
newspapers
, which means that it is uncomfortable.
For example
, in Kazakhstan, citizens tend to explore the
news
by using the
Internet
due to
the costs of
newspapers
.
Additionally
, it is difficult and ridiculous to always carry
newspapers
with you, so usually humankind has to read them from online platforms. In conclusion,
although
people
have the freedom to choose between the
Internet
or
newspapers
, I completely agree with the idea that
newspapers
are almost obsolete because the
Internet
becoming more and more popular among
people
.
Submitted by talgattan4ez on

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task achievement
While your essay addresses the task effectively and presents clear ideas, make sure to provide more specific examples to enhance your arguments. For instance, statistical data or personal anecdotes can make your points more convincing.
task achievement
Try to maintain a consistent tone and register throughout the essay. There are moments when the language used can be slightly informal. Aim for a more formal tone appropriate for an IELTS essay.
coherence cohesion
Although your points are coherent and well-organized, some sentences are a bit long and complicated. Try to break them into shorter, clearer sentences to improve readability.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay for small grammar and usage errors. For example, 'an items of the past' should be 'items of the past' or 'a thing of the past.' These minor mistakes can affect the overall impression of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
You provided a well-defined introduction and conclusion, clearly stating your position on the topic.
logical structure
Your essay is logically structured, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point related to the topic.
logical structure
You effectively used transitional phrases like 'To begin with' and 'In conclusion,' which helps in maintaining the flow of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
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