Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be closed down. Others however believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.
Recently, the question of whether
zoos
are all harsh and need to be banned or can be helpful in conserving wild animals
has been a topic of discussion. While
many reasons can endorse the former opinion, I am still in a
favor of the latter.
On the one hand, banning Correct article usage
apply
zoos
can be beneficial in some ways. Firstly
, zoos
is
always hampering animal’s wildlife in cages. The first reason for my argument is that if Change the verb form
are
animals
are enclosed with
Change preposition
in
restrictive
environment for a long time, they will gradually lose their natural instincts Add an article
the restrictive
a restrictive
such
as hunting or preying. Secondly
, animal mistreatment is sometimes reported in zoos
annually, causing them mental and physical harm. For example
, zoos
may force animals
to perform hazardous circus tricks to make visitors suspenseful, leading to
them to become weaker and stressed. Change preposition
apply
This
may cause them to display violent performance
or even attack visitors.
Fix the agreement mistake
performances
On the other hand
, I believe zoos
should be maintained because of its
wider range of virtues. Correct pronoun usage
their
To begin
with, zoos
act as wildlife refuge
for Fix the agreement mistake
refuges
animals
which are on the verge of extinction. To exemplify, zoos
can protect rare animals
from human activities and environmental threats such
as poaching, deforestation and natural disasters. Another reason is that educating students in
preserving the natural habitat of wild Change preposition
about
animals
in zoos
is necessary and convenient. Only when zoos
provide essential knowledge of education, will students acknowledge the importance of wild species such
as the world’s biodiversity.
In conclusion, it is understandable that
why Correct word choice
apply
zoos
should be closed down. However
, I still hold a belief that zoos
can contribute to the safety of wild animals
.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
You have provided a clear and comprehensive response to the prompt. However, try to fully develop each idea to give a deeper analysis.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, the essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, improving transitions between ideas can make the writing flow more smoothly.
task achievement
You effectively addressed both perspectives on the issue, demonstrating a balanced understanding.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-written and effectively encapsulate the main argument.
task achievement
You provided relevant specific examples which strengthened your argument for maintaining zoos.