IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You eat at your college cafeteria every lunchtime. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter: explain what you like bout the cafeteria say what is wrong suggest how it could be improved

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Good afternoon, dear sir/madam. My name is Anastassia, and I am a medical student in the college. I'm writing
this
Linking Words
 letter with the purpose of discussing the quality of lunches in our student's
cafeteria
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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, I want to express my sincere admiration for your magazine. You are doing a great job, and I witnessed a few times your help for students with a variety of problems.
Secondly
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, let me explain the problem I wanted to talk about. You were probably aware of the prices in the
cafeteria
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. If I had time I would go eat somewhere else.
But unfortunately
Correct word choice
Unfortunately
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, I do have not enough time during the day, so I have only one place to go.
Moreover
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, I suppose that I'm not alone. All of the food in the
cafeteria
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 is always cold, and the meat is tough, and it's uneatable. I think we have to think about a new company which is processing our
cafeteria
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. Maybe you could organise a survey of the students about the
cafeteria
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 service, and maybe ask them how they want to see their lunches. Best regards, thanks a lot. Anastassia.

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coherence cohesion
Your letter is well-structured, but consider merging some sentences to enhance flow and readability.
task achievement
Include specific examples or incidents to make the problems and suggested solutions more compelling and relatable.
task achievement
Take care with minor grammatical errors and ensure consistency (e.g., 'uneatable' should be 'inedible').
task achievement
The letter addresses all the required points clearly.
task achievement
Your tone is polite and appropriate for a letter to a magazine.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and signing off are effectively done.
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