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Writing Samples
Band 7

Travellers and business people often come into contact with other cultures briefly. What are the main advantages and disadvantages of doing so? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own kowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#travellers #business #people #contact #cultures #kowledge
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Many people
due to
 their job like travellers or business man or business woman, have to be in contact with foreigners who have different cultures.
This
 provides them with various benefits,
also
, it might bring some drawbacks . Travelling is one of the tasks in which you can see new places and people. Undoubtedly, visiting new people and finding new friends from another place, brings new occasions to meet foreign cultures. It has many good points.
First,
it is getting more simple to be in touch with new friends
then
 you can easily understand their tongue and language when you want to have fun in their city.
Second,
visiting historical places needs a background of the history and
culture
 of that place.
For instance
, if I had to go on a trip, I would search about their
culture
 to easily get in touch with their citizens. Meanwhile, managers or business guys always are in contact with other nations.
For example
, Importing and exporting need to understand the foreign language,
thus
, they have to understand the other
culture
 to have a better deal in their job.
In contrast
, knowing another
culture
 could cause demerits. Personally, if I like another
culture
, I might follow some of them and try to act like them.
Accordingly
, it might change our traditional
culture
 after a
while
then
 the next generation will not remember their history and they will forget their origins. In conclusion, being in contact with other cultures has many virtues and some disadvantages. We have to take care to save our
culture
 for the future.
Submitted by sarvin.rahimi9898 on

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task achievement
You have addressed the task effectively and covered both the advantages and disadvantages of brief cultural encounters. To improve, consider adding more detailed examples and expanding on how these examples support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some ideas could be linked more clearly. Use transitional phrases to achieve better flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The main points are generally supported, but providing more concrete examples and elaborating on your arguments will make them stronger. Try to incorporate specific instances or personal experiences to illustrate your points more vividly.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction sets the stage well for the discussion and clearly states the main idea of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and provides a thoughtful final remark about preserving one's culture.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Exposure to diversity
  • Foster inclusive worldviews
  • Adaptability
  • Communication skills
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Networking opportunities
  • Cultural appreciation
  • Superficial understanding
  • Stereotyping
  • Cultural insensitivity
  • Faux pas
  • Mental well-being
  • Broaden horizons
  • Mutual respect
  • Cultural differences and similarities
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