In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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In the college environment, accommodation problems are indeed troublesome, and there are two decisions for

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student to choose from regarding these needs: whether they decide to live with their guardians or in their dormitory as they enrolled at a university from another metropolis. In fact,

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problem has been opinionated and discussed concerning the benefits and the disadvantages of studying away from home. In

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essay, I will advocate the advantages of studying away from home. On the one hand, living with one's guardians could have various benefits. Living in constant protection and familiarity, thwarted by the feeling of being alienated and homesick, could dwindle the risks of mental unwellness, potential dangers, and lack of scrutiny.

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, in a worst-case scenario, some students after studying away from home could encounter multiple problems with their psychological well-being, false ideology, and habits - illicit actions or restricted chemical consumption, mainly influenced without supervision - and

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could detrimentally affect their lives.

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, staying with the guardians could strengthen the parental bonds.

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, being independent in a novel environment could counter-intuitively benefit a student. Not only being independent can increase our autonomy ability, but it could impact our prospective future and successes, as flexibility and adaptability are an essential characteristic in

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society,

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being independent does bring feelings of alienation and isolation, students who have tried to adapt to the college environment could be more flexible in other aspects in life as they have to figure virtually everything themselves.

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increase the chance for one to create new relationships and bonds with their new peers or friends, which would be very beneficial for their future. In conclusion, many choose to live with their guardian in their university life for protection and awareness, the benefits of living independently outweigh the disadvantages of the skills of autonomy and versatility.

bendy.anhleSun Sep 08 2024

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task achievement

Consider expanding on your examples to make them more specific and relevant. This can help to illustrate your points more vividly.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your use of transition words is effective and does not disrupt the flow of your ideas. Sometimes, simpler connectors can enhance readability.

task achievement

The essay provides a complete response to the prompt, comparing both scenarios and arguing for the benefits of living away from home.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is well-maintained with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

supported main points

The main points are well-supported with relevant reasoning and some examples, even if they could be more specific.

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meeting the goal of 7 or more
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meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
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detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

independence
self-reliance
finance management
exposure
broaden horizons
open-minded
adaptability
conducive environment
isolation
homesickness
financial burden
household duties
academic responsibilities
personal growth

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