Many feel that going to the gym is the best way to stay it. Others think there are more effective methods. Discuss both view and give you own opinion.
Some
people
argue that in order to stay fit, it is essential to attend gym
sessions while
others believe there are other ways that can be implemented to get the same result. This
essay completely agrees that different and more efficient methods can be followed so that anyone keeps a healthy body.
On the one hand, a certain number of people
agree that exercise
is extremely important. Therefore
, they believe that the most recommended way to reach a healthy and fit body would be enrolling to a gym
. This
would allow attendees to build discipline and persistence when following a certain exercise
routine and consequently
create a habit. For example
, it has been proven that people
who follow a schedule
for more than 6 months tend to keep it and build a healthy lifestyle.
On the other hand
, although
plenty of exercise
occurs inside gym
premises and this
leads to excellent results, it is not the only or best way to stay in good shape. Throughout the years, the number of people
who have a deep desire to work on getting a healthier lifestyle has increased. For that reason, different ideas to reach this
goal have been exposed such
as practising different kinds of sports, yoga, meditation or simply exercising comfortably at home. For example
, in Sydney, Australia, many parents work from early in the morning until late in the evening. As a consequence
, it results to be
quite difficult for them to join any Wrong verb form
is
gym
membership. That's why they often decide to buy exercise
machines and get all the exercise
they need at any time of the day. A similar case happens to people
whose schedule
is pretty tight and they prefer to get online yoga, meditation or any other that suits their schedule
.
In conclusion, it is my belief that although
joining a gym
membership would be a great idea to stay healthy, it is not the only or best way to do it. Luckily, there are plenty of different options such
as exercising at home or joining online classes that would adapt to anyone's schedule
and therefore
give the option to maintain their general well-being and stay fit.Submitted by nila.hiperu on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity by proofreading to correct minor errors in sentence structure and phrasing, such as 'it is not the only or best way to stay in good shape' which could be 'it is not the only or the best way to stay in good shape'.
task achievement
Develop the conclusion further by briefly summarizing both viewpoints before presenting your final opinion to strengthen the wrap-up.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear and comprehensive response to the task, addressing both views and presenting a well-supported opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a well-rounded conclusion.
task achievement
Specific examples are relevant and effectively illustrate the points being made, enhancing the overall argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?