One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer, and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantage of this development outweighs the disadvantages?

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It is true that the advanced progress made in the medical field has led humans to live for an extended period of time. In my opinion, the merits of

this

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phenomenon surpass the drawbacks. As the population's

life

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expectancy

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increases,

people

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are able to live longer and make the most out of their lives. Individuals are now able to enjoy their time following retirement and do activities that were

otherwise

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impossible during their employment.

For example

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, thanks to the advanced medical systems, many retirees and senior citizens are able to travel around the world for leisure,

while

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still being in a good physical condition.

Moreover

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, with the increased

expectancy

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life

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, elderly

people

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have the opportunity to spend quality time with their offspring and grandchildren.

This

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privilege is invaluable as it allows younger generations to learn from the vast experience and

life

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lessons that grandparents can provide.

Additionally

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, society can take advantage of the experience that older

people

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possess by allowing them to share their knowledge and experience in different fields through advisory positions.

On the other hand

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, one of the downsides of prolonged

life

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expectancy

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is that it can lead to old

people

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being a burden to their families.

As a result

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, many families end up relocating their elderly relatives to nursing homes to alleviate the burden of having to look after them. Even worse, many elders are subjected to abandonment or abuse by their family members. Despite the negative impacts that are associated with prolonged

life

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expectancy

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, I believe that the positives far exceed the negatives of

this

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occurrence.

ramtariqhSun Aug 25 2024

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task achievement

To strengthen the task response and achieve higher scores, consider addressing potential counterarguments and refuting them effectively. This demonstrates a deeper understanding and a balanced perspective.

coherence cohesion

Although the essay is structured logically, using more cohesive devices and transitional phrases could enhance the flow of ideas. This ensures your points are more seamlessly connected.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your response well.

task achievement

The main points are well-supported with relevant examples, making your arguments more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
dependency ratio
healthcare costs
working-age population
financial stability
medical research
age-related diseases
generational bonds
social services
pensions
elderly care
consumer market
ethical considerations
prolonged life
burden on healthcare systems
wisdom and experience
retirement periods
family bonds
industries targeting elderly
improved medical care

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer, and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantage of this development outweighs the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

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