Some think that too much attention and too many resources are given to protection of wild animals and birds. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#think #attention #resources #protection #animals #birds

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Nowadays, in the 21st society, endangered

animals

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and

birds

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are unequivocally the most alarming problem.A multitude of individuals make vigorous efforts for wildlife conservation and spend versatile resources for

this

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. Broadly speaking, I think that we should make more efforts and reinforce expenditures of currency should be directed in order to improve their lives. First and foremost, it is evident that

animals

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and

birds

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play essential roles in our ecosystem and the

overall

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condition of Earth is strongly connected with them.

For instance

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, many crops depend on animal pollinators, particularly

birds

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and bees.

This

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species

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plays a crucial role

due to

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its influence on a significant proportion of food and nourishment which we consume on a daily basis.

Moreover

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, if populations of

animals

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and

birds

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are healthy, it will lead to biodiversity, which is crucial for maintaining ecosystem stability and sustainability.

Additionally

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, human beings are responsible for the well-being of

species

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and have a strong moral obligation to protect them genuinely. Like self-conscious human beings, all society members should avoid the extinction of

animals

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, because it can lead to unchangeable consequences in the future, which will undoubtedly influence our daily lives.To cite an example, as a person who is keen on

animals

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, I have read that one of the rarest

birds

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in the USA, namely the condor,played a vital role in maintaining of ecosystem by scavenging large carcasses.

On the other hand

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, individuals may argue that government and society members should balance cash to human life-threatening issues

instead

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of taking a closer look at endangered

species

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Moreover

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, citizens of urban and contemporary areas suffer from poverty and lack of straightforward facilities which are essential for livelihood. In these sophisticated cases, when poverty rates increase tremendously, diseases increase among individuals and infrastructure suffers, it is crucial to improve the quality of human beings

initially

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To sum up

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, providing wild

animals

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birds

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and endangered

species

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at all is arguably the most alarming circumstance right now. I wholeheartedly believe that we are like conscious citizens and should protect them and avoid biodiversity loss.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Tue Aug 27 2024

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task achievement

Consider avoiding redundancy in your introduction. For example, 'endangered animals and birds are unequivocally the most alarming problem' can be more effectively stated without the word 'unequivocally'.

coherence cohesion

Improve sentence transitions for smoother flow. Phrases such as 'First and foremost' and 'To sum up' function well as connectors, but transitions within paragraphs need to be more fluid.

task achievement

Be clearer and more direct in making your points. For instance, the roles of birds and bees in pollination can be more succinctly expressed.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with distinct introduction and conclusion sections.

task achievement

Relevant examples, such as the mention of the condor's role in the ecosystem, strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

The essay maintains a logical flow and each paragraph supports the central argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

340 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
ecosystem
extinction
domino effect
ecotourism
economic benefits
natural habitats
conservation
sustainability
urban environmental issues
resource allocation
human needs
financial investment

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Some think that too much attention and too many resources are given to protection of wild animals and birds. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Some expert believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.Do the advantages of this outweight the disadvantages.

In some countries, some school leavers choose to work or travel for a year between finishing secondary school and attending university.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people think that a job provides not only an income but also a social life. Other people think that it is better to develop a social life with people you do not work with. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.