Some think that too much attention and too many resources are given to protection of wild animals and birds. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, in the 21st society, endangered
animals
Use synonyms
and
birds
Use synonyms
are unequivocally the most alarming problem.A multitude of individuals make vigorous efforts for wildlife conservation and spend versatile resources for
this
Linking Words
. Broadly speaking, I think that we should make more efforts and reinforce expenditures of currency should be directed in order to improve their lives. First and foremost, it is evident that
animals
Use synonyms
and
birds
Use synonyms
play essential roles in our ecosystem and the
overall
Linking Words
condition of Earth is strongly connected with them.
For instance
Linking Words
, many crops depend on animal pollinators, particularly
birds
Use synonyms
and bees.
This
Linking Words
species
Use synonyms
plays a crucial role
due to
Linking Words
its influence on a significant proportion of food and nourishment which we consume on a daily basis.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if populations of
animals
Use synonyms
and
birds
Use synonyms
are healthy, it will lead to biodiversity, which is crucial for maintaining ecosystem stability and sustainability.
Additionally
Linking Words
, human beings are responsible for the well-being of
species
Use synonyms
and have a strong moral obligation to protect them genuinely. Like self-conscious human beings, all society members should avoid the extinction of
animals
Use synonyms
, because it can lead to unchangeable consequences in the future, which will undoubtedly influence our daily lives.To cite an example, as a person who is keen on
animals
Use synonyms
, I have read that one of the rarest
birds
Use synonyms
in the USA, namely the condor,played a vital role in maintaining of ecosystem by scavenging large carcasses.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, individuals may argue that government and society members should balance cash to human life-threatening issues
instead
Linking Words
of taking a closer look at endangered
species
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, citizens of urban and contemporary areas suffer from poverty and lack of straightforward facilities which are essential for livelihood. In these sophisticated cases, when poverty rates increase tremendously, diseases increase among individuals and infrastructure suffers, it is crucial to improve the quality of human beings
initially
Linking Words
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, providing wild
animals
Use synonyms
,
birds
Use synonyms
and endangered
species
Use synonyms
at all is arguably the most alarming circumstance right now. I wholeheartedly believe that we are like conscious citizens and should protect them and avoid biodiversity loss.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider avoiding redundancy in your introduction. For example, 'endangered animals and birds are unequivocally the most alarming problem' can be more effectively stated without the word 'unequivocally'.
coherence cohesion
Improve sentence transitions for smoother flow. Phrases such as 'First and foremost' and 'To sum up' function well as connectors, but transitions within paragraphs need to be more fluid.
task achievement
Be clearer and more direct in making your points. For instance, the roles of birds and bees in pollination can be more succinctly expressed.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with distinct introduction and conclusion sections.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as the mention of the condor's role in the ecosystem, strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical flow and each paragraph supports the central argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • extinction
  • domino effect
  • ecotourism
  • economic benefits
  • natural habitats
  • conservation
  • sustainability
  • urban environmental issues
  • resource allocation
  • human needs
  • financial investment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: